Glass Half Full
Glass Half Full
Dreaming Beyond Disability: The Ken Kunken Story
What happens when a football tackle changes everything? Ken Kunken's life pivoted dramatically in 1970 when he broke his neck during a Cornell University football game, leaving him almost completely paralyzed from the shoulders down. Doctors delivered a devastating prognosis—they didn't expect him to survive the week. If he did, they predicted a shortened life in a nursing home.
Ken refused to accept these limitations. Just eleven days after hospital discharge, he returned to Cornell—navigating a campus with no wheelchair accessibility—and became the first quadriplegic to graduate from the university. This was merely the beginning of his boundary-breaking journey.
Through raw, honest conversation, Ken shares how he earned two master's degrees and faced crushing employment discrimination despite his impressive credentials. When over 200 job applications went unanswered, he finally found opportunity at Abilities Inc., counseling others with disabilities. But Ken wasn't finished redefining possibility—he graduated from law school and spent over 40 years as an Assistant District Attorney, even though he couldn't initially fit through the courtroom doors in his wheelchair.
Perhaps most powerfully, Ken opens up about finding love later in life and becoming a father to triplet sons through in vitro fertilization. Now in their twenties and attending prestigious universities, his sons represent the life Ken was told would be impossible.
Throughout our conversation, Ken's philosophy shines through: "Just because something has not been done before doesn't mean you cannot do it now." His memoir, "I Dream of Things That Never Were," captures this spirit of relentless possibility. Whether you're facing challenges or simply need inspiration, Ken's story proves that with determination and support, extraordinary achievements are possible regardless of physical limitations.
Subscribe to Glass Half Full for more conversations that challenge assumptions and celebrate the resilience of the human spirit.
Please reach Ken: www.kenkunken.com, kennethkunken@gmail.com. Also, is via messenger connected to facebook (https://www.facebook.com/ken.kunken/)
Good morning, good afternoon and good evening wherever you are in the world, and welcome to another episode of Glass Half Full, a podcast and a safe platform where we talk with a variety of teachers, entrepreneurs, spiritualists, uplifters, givers, shakers and serenaders. Everyone has a lesson to learn and a lesson to share. Let's use our life experiences to enrich someone's heart, mind, spirit and soul. Through sharing our experiences, we can be a learning inspiration for one another. I'm your host, chris Levins. If you love the show and want to support us, you can become a monthly subscriber or make a one-time donation. Can become a monthly subscriber or make a one-time donation. Just look for the heart icon or the support link on our podcast platform. We're so grateful for your continued support. It helps us keep making this show even better. Let's welcome today's guest.
Chris:Today's guest is Ken Kunken. Ken broke his neck playing football at Cornell University in 1970, leaving him almost totally paralyzed from the shoulders down. After a lengthy hospitalization, Ken returned to Cornwall where he completed his undergraduate degree in engineering. Ken then earned a Master's of arts degree at Cornell in education, as well as a master of education degree at Columbia University in psychology. Ken became a nationally certified rehabilitation counselor. He worked for more than two years at Abilities Inc, where he provided vocational and placement counseling to severely disabled individuals. Wanting to accomplish still more, ken enrolled in Hofstra University's School of Law. Ken then worked for more than 40 years as a Nassau County Assistant District Attorney, where he became a Deputy Bureau Chief. Let's give a warm welcome to Ken. Good morning, good morning. Good morning, good morning. Thank you so much, chris. Thank you for taking some time out to be a guest here on Glass Half Full. We're so happy to have you today some time out to be a guest here on Glass Half Full. We're so happy to have you today. Can you tell everyone?
Ken:where you are in the world and what time it is. Okay, I'm in Long Island in New York State, and right now it's 9.36 in the morning.
Chris:Yes, we thank you for taking some time to have a morning chat, for sure. Well, we're going to jump right on in. I like to ask my guests this first question. I believe that our lives are in spiritual design. Can you share your life layout or?
Ken:blueprint with everyone how you grew up, where your family lifestyle. Okay, well, I suppose my life has been a bit different, a bit unconventional for most people. I was born in 1950, and it happened to be during the polio epidemic. Oh, wow. So I was born and living in Long Island my whole life and unfortunately, shortly after I was born, my mother contracted polio and she died when I was less than a month old. Wow. So as a result, my father and my older brother, who's two years older than me, we moved in with my grandparents in a neighboring community on Long Island and we lived with them for four years until my father married his second wife and it was during that marriage that my sister, meryl, was born. So now there's my brother, my sister, my father and myself, and unfortunately, the second marriage resulted in a divorce and later we moved into an apartment in a nearby community and I grew up in a community called Oceanside, long Island, and looking back, I would say I had a very happy childhood.
Chris:Nice and bring us up to the early years. Then you decided to go to school. What drew you to football?
Ken:Okay, I started playing football when I was six years old.
Chris:Okay, we're talking in the streets, I guess, right?
Ken:Right In the streets and Little League football. My father played football when he was in high school and college. My brother played football when he was in high school, and so our family was always very involved in athletics. It was not only our passion, but just a great way to relax and spend each day and, you know, try and keep in the best shape we could be in. So it was nothing unusual about when I went to school that I would play football as well, and in addition, I used to think of myself more as an athlete than as a good student, because when somebody used to ask me to describe myself, the first thing that I would talk about was sports. I mean, that seemed to be the topic of our conversations. So when I went to Cornell Cornell is a very prestigious school here in America I was very fortunate to gain admission, but I was still looking forward to playing ball while I was there.
Chris:Did you get a scholarship to play ball to go there?
Ken:No, I was not an exceptional athlete by any means. Okay, I was playing on their lightweight football team, which was a very special league for players that were a little smaller in size than the heavyweights, and it was purely for fun. Nothing ever was being considered about a future playing ball.
Chris:Okay, well, that's it. I mean ideally just for the enjoyment of it. That is important for sure. Can you take us back to the day of your injury? What do you remember most vividly about the experience and the immediate aftermath?
Ken:I would say I remember just about every single detail of it. I never lost consciousness during my injury. Really, what happened? We were playing in a game against Columbia University. It was on October 31st 1970. It was during the first quarter. We had just scored a touchdown and now we were kicking off to Columbia and I normally would not have been in on that play.
Ken:But on the first play of the game one of our players was injured and I was put in on that play to take his place. So when the ball was kicked I ran down the field and I had a clear shot at the ball carrier and when I tackled him, I tackled him by hitting him with my head, making the initial contact. And as soon as I made contact with him I felt like a stinging numbness go through all my body and I lost all sensation below my neck. So I was lying on the field and nobody seemed to know that I was injured. People were running up to me saying good tackle, and they were now changing a team so that the kickoff team would go off the field and our defensive team would come on the field.
Ken:And I had a call to my teammates and the ref that I can't move. And here I was lying on the field and nobody seemed to know why. I didn't know why. I thought it was just the impact of the tackle and that soon I would jump up and run off the field. I had never really heard of a spinal cord injury before, but that's what happened. Not only did I break my neck, but I severely damaged my spinal cord, and that was the reason for the paralysis.
Chris:And that was an instant ordeal. That happened, I'm guessing.
Ken:Mm-hmm, wow, as soon as I tackled the ball carrier.
Chris:Oh my gosh. Now I'm not a person of sports. Is this a type of injury that's common? Is this something that you know? People were so shocked that this could ever happen, because I've never even heard of. I've heard of the concussion, of course, but Right, it was pretty unusual.
Ken:Back then, you know, most people hadn't heard about it. I certainly didn't know about it. So you know, even many months later, when I was in the hospital and heard that I had broken my neck, I still didn't know about it. So you know, even many months later, when I was in the hospital and heard that I had broken my neck, I still didn't associate that with a spinal cord injury. But it's the damage to the spinal cord, that's what results in the paralysis. So just to tell you a little bit more about what happened yes, please. While I was on the field and field and they called for an ambulance, they put a stretcher under me and when they lifted me up to carry me off the field, it felt like they were just carrying my head off the field and leaving my body behind, because all I could feel there was from my neck up. So it was about the strangest sensation I could ever describe. It felt as if I'd been decapitated and they were just carrying my head off the field.
Chris:Wow. And now are you telling them I don't feel anything, or are you kind of like out of it?
Ken:You know I was not out of it at the time. I was still trying to process what was going on. You know, I still felt this stinging numbness. I still thought it was going to wear off within seconds and that I would get up and run around again. So I really wasn't sure exactly what happened or was happening. It just didn't feel right. You know, at the time I was not in a great deal of pain. You know, they did not give me any painkillers at the time and they just, you know, laid me on the sidelines waiting for the ambulance to come.
Chris:Wow, so you're in the ambulance, they take you to the hospital. What's happening?
Ken:I'm in the hospital, they cut off my uniform, took x-rays and they saw at that time that the injury was very serious, In fact so serious. The hospital felt they were not equipped to handle that injury, so they put me back in an ambulance and drove me an hour away to another hospital. Now, by this time I was in a lot of pain and they still didn't give me any painkillers, because they felt I should be totally conscious and cognizant when I met the new doctor at the new hospital.
Chris:Wow Okay, so you get to the new hospital. Wow Okay, so you get to the new hospital, right.
Ken:And in the new hospital they put me in traction. They actually screwed a device into my head called Crutchfield Tongues and they hung 20 pounds of weight on the back of it to kind of stretch my neck and try and realign the bones. And I was lying flat on a bed called the striker frame where they would need to flip me over from my stomach to my back every two hours to try and prevent bed sores and to try and prevent congestion from developing in my lungs. So I laid on that bed for four weeks, being turned every two hours, with weights swinging around with me as nurses and technicians flipped me from my stomach to my back. Wow yeah, and it was actually nine days later that I actually I wasn't in traction for four weeks, I was in traction for nine days.
Ken:But nine days after my injury they did surgery on my neck where they took part of a bone from my leg and fused it with the bones in my neck to stabilize my neck, my neck.
Ken:So it was during that operation that they removed the traction, put me on a different bed, which was called a circle electric bed, where I was still being turned every two hours, but this bed looked almost like a Ferris wheel where, you know, rather than flipping me, you know, sideways the bed would rotate, where I'd go from lying flat to being basically in a standing position to lying on my stomach.
Ken:And you know they would attach another bed on top of me so that you know, one, I wouldn't fall out and two, that now I'd be lying on a bed on my stomach rather than on my back. And it was during the surgery that the doctor came out afterwards and told my family that you know my injury was very severe, that he didn't think I would survive through the week. He told my family oh, wow, yeah. He said if I was to survive, my life expectancy would be between five and nine years, that I would have no movement, I would not be able to do anything and I'd probably end up living that amount of time in a nursing home. And the doctor actually said to my family if he were my son, I would just let him go.
Chris:Oh, wow.
Ken:Yeah, my family was too stunned to even reply when he said that wow, I'm sure like come on, doctor.
Chris:Where, wow, where is the hope?
Ken:oh my, gosh, it wasn't much hope at all back then. Um oh my gosh.
Chris:well, yeah, we are in a different time period, which is we have to remind ourselves on that, but still wow, Whew. And so how long did you stay in this? What was the progression after this?
Ken:Well, I was in this hospital in Elmira for four weeks, okay, and then I was transferred by ambulance to a hospital in my home community of Oceanside, long Island, where I was there from what would now be November 28th, for December, january, february, march, more than three months. I was transferred now to a rehabilitation center in New York City that was called the New York Institute of Rehabilitative Medicine, but most people knew it by the head doctor's name, the Rusk Institute, which was a very famous rehab institution in New York.
Ken:City. Were they good? Well, they were known as the best. You know, I was disappointed in the treatment I received. Oh no, okay. So I was very disappointed in that Because but I was there for five months and 20 days, okay. Five months and 20 days, okay, and I spent a total of nine months and 20 days in various hospitals and rehabilitation centers Wow.
Chris:And from these rehabilitation centers. Was there any progression? Was there any promise?
Ken:You know very little. I mean, initially I couldn't move at all. Eventually I was able to move my left arm a little bit, but not my fingers or my wrist. On the right side of my body I could just shrug my shoulder a bit, okay. But you know, with the aid of braces and splints that in occupational therapy they taught me how to use um, I could now operate an electric wheelchair. Oh, wow, with some great difficulty I could turn the pages of a book. Wow, by having, like a stick attached to my wrist splint where there'd be an eraser at the end of the stick, and I would try, and you know, turn a page by moving the eraser against the page and turning it, so there wasn't much else I could do for myself at that point.
Chris:Wow, and so how is your family handling this?
Ken:Well, obviously it was a devastating injury for me and my family. I mean, it was very expensive. Really, none of us knew much, if anything, about spinal cord injuries. They were trying to learn as much as they could. And, you know, when they brought me to this Rusk Institute they thought they were getting me the best care available. But you know again, back then you just didn't hear much about my kind of injury, because somebody who had such a severe injury in the neck region usually didn't survive.
Chris:Back then, hmm, Wow, wow, okay, wow, okay. So how much time is?
Ken:it from the injury and the rehabilitation that gets you to decide that you want to go back to school. How much of a time difference is that? Well, I was in either the hospital or rehab center for nine months and 20 days, and while I was there, the one individual that I thought helped me a lot was a vocational counselor named Joyce Mesh, and Joyce met with me and told me she thought there was a lot that I could still do if I, you know, went back to school and continued my education.
Chris:you know because.
Ken:I injured my neck and not my head, and there was no reason why she felt I could not go back to school and make something of my life. So with her help, I was able to go back to Cornell University, and I went back there just 11 days after I was finally discharged from the hospital.
Chris:Wow, oh, wow, and of course this is in person, because there was no online back then. So you're back in person in Cornell.
Ken:Right Now. This was 20 years before the Americans with Disabilities Act, which made more facilities wheelchair accessible. Ok, Before that it was really difficult for somebody in a wheelchair to get around, and Cornell was particularly inaccessible. Ok, I mean, Cornell's located in upstate Ithaca, New York. It's on a very hilly terrain. Virtually every one of its buildings has steps in front of it and there was not one ramp or curb cut on the entire campus. So you know, I never really understood much about my condition, really understood much about my condition. Nobody seemed to know much about it. And you know, I hired a personal care attendant who I had met just once before. And Cornell was about 250 miles away from my home and family. But I went back there and I resumed my studies in industrial engineering.
Chris:Wow, that's amazing. Congratulations on that, thank you. Yeah, wow. And then you went on to earn two master's degrees.
Ken:Right. Well, it was probably crazy that I went back and continued in engineering at that time. This was well before they had laptop computers and it was really difficult for me, to, you know, just get through school, let alone even think about functioning as an engineer. But I graduated with a degree in engineering. In fact, when I graduated in 1973, I became the first quadriplegic that's what I'm considered paralyzed in all four limbs. I became the first quadriplegic to ever graduate from Cornell University. Wow.
Chris:Wow, that's an honor yes so while I was at Cornell I took some electives in psychology.
Ken:I took some electives in psychology and one of my psychology professors, a person by the name of Dr James Moss, suggested that I pursue a career doing counseling, counseling other individuals who were experiencing challenges in their lives, nice. So, based on his suggestion, I stayed at Cornell, earned a Master of Arts in Counseling and Student Personnel Administration, and then, to further my counseling credentials, I went for a second master's degree to Columbia University, where I earned a second master's degree in Psychological Counseling and Rehabilitation.
Chris:Wow, and now isn't Columbia University the school that you were playing when you injured yourself?
Ken:That's right. Ironically, that was.
Chris:Wow, Look at that twist. Well, I mean, that's a full circle. Oh my gosh it sure was.
Ken:It was very strange, wow, because every time I would hear the name Columbia before I went back there, I would think of the day I was injured.
Chris:Was it at Columbia University itself or was it at your school? Before the game. Well, I got hurt at.
Ken:Cornell Okay, it was at Cornell, but in a game against Columbia. Okay, Now here I was a full-time student at Columbia. Wow, oh my gosh.
Chris:Wow.
Ken:Wow, oh my gosh, wow, wow. And I might add that when I first started at Columbia, I met with one of the you know, top administrators in the program and he told me point blank, without pulling any punches even when I graduate from Columbia, I will have a great deal of difficulty ever getting a job Because, as he put it, even people in the rehabilitation field are going to be hesitant, or if not reluctant, to hire somebody with my severe disability. Wow, and it turned out he was right. When I graduated which from Columbia, which now is 1975, I started looking for a job in the rehabilitation field and I sent out more than 200 resumes. I looked for a job for more than a year and no one would hire me. It seemed everyone felt that I was just too disabled to work. Now again, this was well before they had the Internet and laptop computers and you know I would need to mail out resumes. And it was very discouraging. Wow, I mean, here it was. I had three degrees from Ivy League. Degrees, yes, from grand schools?
Chris:Yeah, exactly.
Ken:From Columbia, you know some of the best schools in the country. Wow, I had two master's degrees and no one would hire me. I was even turned down when I left to volunteer my services Really Right. But finally I found one organization willing to give me the opportunity to show what I could do, and that organization was Abilities Incorporated, which was part of what was then called the Human Resources Center. It's now called the Viscardi Center after its founder, dr Henry Viscardi Jr. Okay, and they hired me to work as a vocational rehabilitation counselor for other individuals who had severe disabilities.
Chris:Now a question for you. Why do you think they hired you? What was different?
Ken:They were dedicated to helping people with disabilities. In fact, dr Viscardi himself had a disability. He was born basically with just stumps for legs and he walked on prosthetic legs and they were dedicated to showing that people with disabilities could work. So I was fortunate they were on long island. I was put in contact with them and they hired me to work, I guess because they felt maybe I could help motivate and inspire other individuals with disabilities. Because here it was, I was actually more physically disabled than everybody I was counseling and I was able to show them that even with a disability such as mine, they could still proceed, get a job and be a productive member of society.
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Ken:Very and I absolutely loved being there and the opportunity that they gave me to show what I could do when no one else was willing to give me that opportunity.
Chris:This is it right, when no one wanted to take the chance. Here it is that you were able to take the chance, and so how did your own experience inform your counseling with the other people that you were talking to, who had disabilities?
Ken:Well, I certainly had a good idea of what they were all going through Exactly. I mean, there were all different types of disabilities, but I knew what it was when you're facing discrimination, when people think that you're just too disabled to work, that you're treated like you don't have a brain in your head because you have a physical disability. People still treated you like you were totally disabled. And it was very discouraging because when I was in the rehab facility, many of the people that I saw there fellow patients who had been hurt a lot longer than I was didn't seem to be doing anything productive with their lives. Very few of them seem to be working.
Ken:So I was convinced that I could still work and I wanted to do so here. I was there in my early 20s and, thanks to the opportunity that the Viscardi Center gave me, it increased my self-confidence, my self-esteem, my feelings of self-worth. Obviously, now I had a small income coming in as well. It really changed my life and made such an enormous difference. I cannot begin to thank them enough at the difference they made in my life.
Chris:Wow. Do you still have some type of contact with them at this point in your life?
Ken:Oh, I sure do. I'm so honored to say that, 30 years after I left the facility, the president of Abilities Incorporated called me on the phone and asked me to be a member of their board of directors.
Ken:Oh nice yeah, which I very proudly accepted, and now I'm serving, first on the abilities, in board of directors, starting in 2009. And 2017, I started serving on the parent company of abilities, the Viscardi Center's board of directors. Company of Abilities, the Viscardi Center's Board of Directors, and I'm thrilled and proud to still participate in their activities and try and help as many people with disabilities as I can.
Chris:I love that you just pay it forward, just putting it back out. Wow, that is so awesome that you're on the board, wow.
Ken:You know and I'm so proud to add, chris that my family became so involved in everything with respect to my care that my cousin, roy Danis, is now the chairman of the board of directors at the Viscardi Center.
Chris:Wow, now that is pretty impressive. That is pretty impressive, definitely. Oh, I love it. So great. So great, ken, so great. I want to jump a little bit and I want to talk about the 40 years that you have served at the Nassau County ADA. What brought you there first, before we get into the deep questioning, like was it something that you wanted? Is it something that you always felt like, oh, I want to do this? Or how did you get here?
Ken:You know that's an interesting question and there were basically two reasons that convinced me law would be the right field for me. One my older brother, stephen, who's two years older than me, was working as a lawyer at the time. He was working as a public defender in Nassau County and I used to go where I had the opportunity and watch him in court and I used to think this looked fascinating. And since I would see him in court where he's using, you know, his voice and his ability to talk in front of people, I thought maybe that's something I could still do.
Ken:But what happened is, while I was working as a rehab counselor, the center often sent me to conferences where I'd be speaking before groups and organizations concerning affirmative action and non-discrimination for people with disabilities, and often after my talks I would be asked questions and while I would do my best to respond appropriately, I was always careful to caution the questioners. They should really consult with a lawyer about their concerns. And you know, the more I thought about it, chris, I started to think, you know, there's no reason why I couldn't become that lawyer. So with the added self-confidence the Viscardi Center gave me, I left the center and went to Hofstra University School of Law, which is also on Long Island.
Chris:Yes, wow, here we go back to school. I love it.
Chris:Can't say, oh no, no, no, I need a little something else, and you know, law is I mean. When I was a kid, I used to say I want to be a lawyer, I want to be a lawyer. And then my mom was like, you know, lawyers, there's lots of reading. And I was like, oh, okay, I'm going to change my, I'm going to change what I want to do, because it's such a. It's a real deal. It's a heavy field, there's a lot of things to go with it, and considering the physical demands of the field as well. So how did you navigate around this?
Ken:Well, that was tricky. I mean, my brother suggested that I do an internship at the district attorney's office Smart, which was very interesting. My brother was a defense attorney. Oh was he? Yeah, he suggested I do an internship with the prosecutor's office.
Ken:Okay, what is that about? Yeah, well, you know it's interesting that you're thinking it's a big office. In fact, your particular office is at the same building as the courthouse. Oh, it's more convenient. Yeah, they had a lot of paralegals and student interns, secretaries, a lot of assistant DAs, a lot of police officers that you know you'd be meeting with almost on a daily basis. So my brother felt it was a place that I could function, because there'd be a lot of people there that could provide me help and assistance if I needed it. So I did an internship there and I loved it and you know, I decided when I graduated that's where I wanted to work.
Ken:And I might add that when I decided to work there, I didn't know of any other quadriplegics that were trial attorneys, and I certainly didn't know of any who were assistant district attorneys. But I decided it was something I really wanted to do. So I applied for a job there during my last year of law school and I was very fortunate that the district attorney there at the time, a person by the name of Dennis Dillon, was a very progressive, forward-thinking, self-confident man who based his hiring decision on my abilities rather than my disability. I love it. He hired me to work as an assistant district attorney.
Ken:I might add that what happened Chris is I completed the three years of law school in a standard three year period. I passed the very difficult New York State bar exam the first time that I took it. Wow. He began my work by participating in a very intensive fourweek training program where they taught us all aspects of trial techniques as a prosecutor, and I was so proud to go to court my first day, only to find I couldn't fit through the swinging doors of the court. Stop it, ken. Too narrow, too narrow to allow me to get through in my election, oh my gosh, what did?
Ken:they do. This is crazy. You know, of all the challenges that I knew law would present, getting into the courtroom was not one I was thinking about. Oh my gosh. Eventually they widened the doorways in all the courtrooms so that I could enter and work as an assistant district attorney.
Chris:Wow, look at you making the changes are being made Wow.
Ken:This was, again well before the Americans with Disabilities Act took effect, where now it's mandatory that they need to be made accessible.
Chris:Wow, somebody's had to pave the way for us. Somebody's had to pave that way. Wow, wow, what a had to pave that way. Wow, wow, what a story, what a story. And so 40 years Right, that's a long time it sure was.
Ken:Yeah, you know I enjoyed the work. It was certainly very challenging, challenging, um, but I was fortunate that you know my work received, uh, enough recognition that I was promoted a number of times where, as you indicated in your introduction, I eventually became one of the deputy bureau chiefs of our county court trial bureau where I was now helping supervise more than 25 other assistant district attorneys wow, wow, and I really enjoyed the work, which now involved basically like teaching aspect as well to helping the newer ADAs.
Chris:Now, by this time, was there anybody else who was similar to your situation as far as dealing with any physical things by this point in your career?
Ken:No, certainly not on Long Island, none that I see. Okay, you know now there may have been people out there, chris, but I just didn't hear about them. You know, again, this was before the internet, true, and I started there well before the Americans with Disabilities Act. So I didn't even see people out on the streets in electric wheelchairs, wow, you know. I didn't see people in public places or really doing anything out in public where they were quadriplegic.
Chris:Wow, and so you know this, you Deputy Bureau Chief. You know this, you Deputy Bureau Chief, and within this department, what is it exactly that your job duties are?
Ken:Well, you know, before I was a deputy, I was a trial attorney where I had my own caseload and I presented cases to the grand jury. I did pretrial hearings. I did 76 trials, 65 of which were felonies Wow. So I was doing a lot of litigation and now, as a deputy bureau chief, I was supervising the newer ADAs, okay, and we instruct them on how to go about doing their litigation and giving them critiques and hopefully constructive criticism. I was deciding whether a case merited going to the grand jury, what type of plea bargain we should give, if any. So it carried with it a lot of responsibility.
Chris:Wow, and is this? Are you still in this current position?
Ken:Well, I actually retired from full-time work nine years ago, but then I continued to work there in a part-time capacity for eight more years. Oh, my gosh, wow. So I just retired completely one year ago.
Chris:Oh my gosh, let me give you a little this Congratulations. We want you to sit, just relax a little bit, just relax, yeah, just enjoy the relaxed time. That's so funny. You are going to retire twice, right?
Ken:You sound like the.
Chris:Japanese oh my gosh.
Ken:I might add that I was so pleased and honored to have the opportunity to work at the district attorney's office, but I might add that they obviously appreciated the work that I did there as well. And two years ago the current district attorney there, a woman by the name of Ann Donnelly, started an annual award that they now give out at the Nassau County District Attorney's Office. That is named the Kenneth J Kunkin Award. It's named for me and it's given out annually now to the outstanding assistant district attorney who displays the type of work ethic, loyalty and devotion to the office and that person's colleagues, as the district attorney felt I demonstrated. So I was just so pleased and honored by that, I'm sure. And I might add that this district attorney, when she was relatively new in the office I was even her supervisor oh wow, and we shared an office for a while. So she not only saw the impact I had on people but the way the fellow ADAs respected and looked up to me, and that made an enormous difference to me.
Chris:Wow, so great, ken. So so great, so great. Now I want to pivot a little bit. I want to talk about some special people in your life. You're also a husband and a father of triplets. Let's talk about this. I want to talk about the family first, and then we'll go into some questions and things. So, cher, let's break it down, let's talk about them.
Ken:Okay, Well, you know, following my injury, I knew that.
Ken:You know, I was 20 years old at the time it was just way too early to give up on life and I made up my mind that I wanted to still try and do everything that I would have done with my life had I not been injured. And you know my family encouraged me to do that. In fact, they even indicated they would act as my arms and legs, if need be, to allow me to do everything I wanted to do. And one of those things was, you know, for dating, you know, to go out and meet, you know, a very special woman and have a satisfying relationship with a woman that would hopefully, you know, be lasting.
Chris:So how did you date Like yes, we want to know about this, definitely how did.
Ken:you might imagine. Dating when you're a quadriplegic and trying to impress a woman when you're almost totally paralyzed poses its own unique set of challenges. Yes, yes, now, when I was hurt, I never considered marriage as the ultimate possibility as the ultimate possibility.
Ken:I just thought it would be pleasant to meet and have a nice relationship with a woman, but it never occurred to me that it would result in marriage. And I was actually almost 50 when I met the perfect woman for me. Her name is Anna and she's actually sitting just off to my right now. Hi, anna, I'm talking here and you know when I started dating Anna, things just fit and worked out.
Chris:Okay now, where did you meet her? How did this work? Because there were no dating apps.
Ken:Or maybe, so you said 50. Maybe they were dating. Yeah, okay, now where did you meet her?
Chris:How did this work? Because there were no dating apps. Well, that's interesting, or maybe so. You said 50.
Ken:Maybe they were dating, yeah, okay. Well, what happened was I was actually looking for a personal care attendant to help me on weekends, okay, and I put an ad in the paper.
Chris:Wow, in the paper. Did you all hear that?
Ken:In In the paper. Did you all hear that In the paper? Right, and that's how I used to get my attendance. And somebody had suggested that you get a more positive response if you put an ad in the Polish Daily News, which is published here in America. But a lot of people use that paper to look for jobs and Anna, who's Polish, happened to be visiting at the time. She came to the States to improve her English speaking skills. She saw the ad and responded and despite her never having done this type of work before, she thought it'd be good because she thought by working with me it would improve her English speaking. She'd get to talk, she thought by working with me, it would improve her english speaking.
Ken:she'd get to, you know, talk, talk in the english language with somebody on a daily basis and, uh, we got to know each other, as she's working for me and you know it wasn't long before our relationship turned into a really good friendship and then a romantic relationship Wow, and it was eventually. I might add that it was Ana who actually proposed to me.
Chris:Oh right, I love it. Yeah, me too. That's awesome Because, ken, now here's the real truth. Would you have proposed to her?
Ken:Probably not See. This is it.
Chris:This is where I felt like she probably felt that too, to let you know like uh-uh.
Ken:So now I'm going to ask you I love it, I had even told Otter at the beginning of our relationship that I would never even consider marriage, because at the time I didn't think it would be fair to the woman you know to marry somebody who was so physically limited as I was and I had an aunt named Betty who encouraged me not to feel that way.
Ken:Everybody's got an Aunt, betty. Betty encouraged me to, you know, not rule out marriage. And you know, the more I got to know Ana, the more she got to know me. It just seemed like we were right for each other, but I don't know if I would have been bold enough to pop the question, and I was fortunate.
Chris:Ana did. I love that, I love that. How long have you all been together now?
Ken:Well, we're married now more than 21 years oh my gosh. So.
Chris:I guess she never went back, huh that was it. No, that was it.
Ken:And you know, ana's a US citizen.
Chris:I love it. I love it.
Ken:And you know, when we first talked about getting married, Ana told me that she wanted to have my baby. Wow, Now, I thought she was crazy At the time. I was paralyzed for more than 30 years and I was there in my 50s. But Ana said she wanted to have my baby, and not just a baby, my baby. So we decided to research various options and were very excited to learn that it still may be possible for me to father a child through in vitro fertilization. Wow, Okay.
Ken:So, we decided after our marriage to pursue it, and on January 24th 2005, chris, I was present in the delivery room. Picture this I was present in the delivery room when Ana gave birth to triplets. Wow, now, did you guys know that she, ana, gave birth to triplets.
Chris:Whoa Now. Did you guys know that she was going to have triplets, or it was a surprise you?
Ken:know, when we learned Ana was pregnant and we went through the first sonogram, I was there as well and I saw in the sonogram, you know, three. The doctor described them as sacks. Three sacks meaning three embryos. So yeah, we learned early on in the pregnancy, wow, and it was going to be triplets how exciting.
Chris:And here it is. You thought you were never going to be married or find love, and now you got three kids absolutely wow, what a turn of events.
Ken:And I've just been so fortunate Chris. What a blessing.
Chris:Really really fortunate, yes, and so how old are the kids now?
Ken:They're now 20 years old. Wow, they're just finishing their sophomore year at three different colleges in upstate New York. Wow, and you know, when they left for college it was the first time they were ever apart from each other. You know their whole lives. And here they decided to go to three different colleges. My son James is attending the State University of New York at Morrisville in upstate New York studying renewable energy. Nice Timothy is pursuing a dual major at the Newhouse School of Communications and the Maxwell School of Public Policy at Syracuse University. He'd like to become a journalist, okay. And my son Joseph is actually attending my alma mater, cornell University, where he's studying mechanical engineering.
Chris:Wow, wow, okay, we got some smart kids, we've got some smart kids for sure.
Ken:They're doing absolutely great and staying very close with each other, in close contact. They text each other and FaceTime. Do they look alike? No, they're fraternal. Okay, they resemble each other, but I wouldn't say they Do they look alike. No, they're fraternal. Okay, they resemble each other, but I wouldn't say they look alike and they're very close as brothers, which gives me a great deal of oh, I love that.
Chris:Wow, that is so great. That is so great. Wow, triplets, that is a lot of work. So how did you manage I mean to jump back just a little bit how did you manage, with three kids you dealing with things, anna doing what she can do, how did y'all do this?
Ken:My wife's a superwoman. She is just unbelievable.
Chris:She's got to be.
Ken:She's got to be, and she was taking care of three kids and me at the same time, and while initially, you know, we had some help with first a baby nurse and then with a nanny and family members, but it was mostly Ana doing most of it on her own and she raised three kids while taking care of me, and just a super, super woman.
Chris:That is impressive. That is impressive. Yeah, I mean these are the awards. I mean the women who are doing it. Like you know, their reward is to see their family in success. But wow, it's like that hard work that is done is like it's full on. It's a, you know, a lifetime work. It's not just the on and off ordeal when you have kids, but three of them at one time, my gosh. I want to change a little bit. I want to talk about your book. I Dream of Things that Never Were. Why did you decide to write it, and what do you hope that readers will take away from it?
Ken:Okay, a number of things. First, while I was still in the rehab facility at the Rusk Institute, a good friend of my Aunt, lorraine's, by the name of Albert Megalin, visited me in the rehab center and he thought, you know, by getting down my thoughts on paper it would help me deal with my depression, because I was very depressed at the time. But he also felt that it would help others, that most people had no idea what a spinal cord injury was all about and what went on at a rehab facility, and he thought by me writing about it it could be very informative to others. So he used to come to the center, you know, once a week and you know I would dictate to him about what I was going through and he would try and write it down in a modified shorthand. But then I left the facility and went back to school.
Ken:So you know, I, you know, tried to meet with al megalin a few times when I was on vacation and then I just stopped working on the book so we'd start, stop, start, start. And I put it down for years and didn't do much of anything with it and I even tried to type a little bit myself with, you know, a stick sticking out of my wrist, which I was a very slow typer. Again, this was before laptop computers and before voice recognition, and I didn't do much of a good job at all At least you tried, at least you tried, I tried.
Ken:But then when the boys were born, you know, anna encouraged me when we had a few minutes of spare time to go back to the book, because you know, at the time I was injured, chris, I didn't know of any other role models with my type of injury that were out in the world and might help and inspire others that there was still a lot they could do. I mean, christopher Reed became a tremendous role model for people. Yes, I can't say enough good things about him, but he was injured 25 years after I was injured.
Chris:I was about to say it was such a time later it was a long time between our injuries.
Ken:So I was hoping that perhaps I could become a role model to a lot of other individuals and help family members and rehab personnel to let them know what somebody in my condition is thinking about, what it's like dealing with other people, and hopefully that there's still a lot someone with my disability could still do. And then when the boys were born, both Anna and I thought it would be great to have a book where they could actually read it themselves and learn more about what I went through and, if I might add, where I got the title from Chris. Yes, I went through, and, if I might add, where I got the title from Chris. While I was still a patient in the rehab facility, I was asked to testify before a United States Health Subcommittee on Healthcare chaired by Senator Edward Kennedy, and eight days after my testimony, Senator Kennedy sent me a glass paperweight in the mail that had an inscription on it that the senator said his late brother, Robert Kennedy, liked very much, and the words on that inscription have always been very meaningful to me. The inscription read some men see things as they are and say why. I dream of things that never were and say why not? And that's why I got the title of my book I Dream of Things that Never Were.
Ken:The Ken Kunkin Story.
Chris:So good, so good. You know. It's amazing that you, you know all of these little nuggets and you can remember everybody's name. Like you have pulled out everyone's name. I'm so impressed, you know, when people tell the story like, but there's so many names through the time that you've named, I'm just I'm like, wow, you have called out some important people in your lives and so I love that that they are living on through you and what they have done for you, that they are still being talked about, and that's awesome. That's awesome as well.
Ken:Thank you. I wanted them to be recognized for all the help they gave to me all these years, because there was nothing I could have done on my own without so much help from so many different people.
Chris:So true, so true. Wow, I love that. I love that. I want to ask you when you look back on your journey from the football field to the courtroom what surprises you the most about where life has taken you?
Ken:Well, obviously, at the time of my injury, I had never thought that I would ever get married, become a father of triplets, no less. That I would develop the the very back of a big lecture hall, hope nobody would notice me, never raise my hand in class, and you know, just try and blend in with the crowd. And now here I am, before you know, appearing before groups and organizations and giving talks.
Chris:Spotlight, spotlighted. Yes, yeah.
Ken:And it feels very strange. And you know again. You know, before my injury my best subject was math. I was always very good with numbers, and now to pursue a career that doesn't involve numbers or math but counseling and then law was quite a change as well that I never thought I would be doing.
Chris:Yeah, I'm sure my gosh. I mean, yeah, you've broken so many barriers if there were any to be up. So, yeah, unbelievable. And I want to ask you, because of the barriers broken, what are some misconceptions about people living with disabilities that you'd like to challenge?
Ken:Well, a number of them. For one, people with disabilities could make very good, loyal, devoted workers and I think a lot of employers are finding now that by employing somebody with a disability it just makes good business sense. There's an awful lot somebody with a disability can do if we're just given the opportunity. And secondly, we can help and inspire other people to do more with their lives.
Ken:And I think a lot of people have found you know there's some people now that for some reason seem to have a negative impression of DEI, of diversity, equity and inclusion. I think when people think logically about it and observe people either in the workplace or pursuing higher education, they find that DEI doesn't just help any individual person. It helps everybody that's exposed to that person, who deals with that person, whether it be through work or in school, and it helps everybody. And I've also found that despite my injury and my disability, I still have the ability to help others and that's a tremendous feeling to know you can still help others and I think that helped me just as much as any other part of my rehabilitation to know that I can still make a difference in other people's lives.
Chris:So good, so good and so powerful and so powerful. So well said, so well said. I like to ask all my guests this final question Is your glass half empty or half full?
Ken:My glass is almost totally full, chris. I am leading a very happy life. Leading a very happy life. You know. I've been so blessed to have the people in my life that I see, you know, either on a daily basis or a weekly basis. Obviously, my wife and children make me ecstatically happy every single day. But you know, my brother, sister, cousins I had grandparents that were so active in my life Aunts, uncles, close friends Everybody has been so helpful. I might add that we're just not sedentary too, in the house either. Later this month, my wife and I are going to be taking a trip. She's going to be driving out to Montana with me to go to her nephew's wedding.
Ken:For our honeymoon. We drove across country, my wife and I, so we are still very active getting out doing a lot of things, and we're looking forward to making this trip now with our three sons, because they'll be on their summer vacation by then.
Chris:Oh, that's so great. Y'all have a great time Lots of pictures lots of laughs and lots of photos, for sure.
Ken:And a lot of good family time.
Chris:Yes, of course, of course. Well, I want to ask you do you have any final thoughts for our listeners?
Ken:Well, there are a number. One is just because something has not been done before doesn't mean you cannot do it now. You have to develop that self-confidence in yourself, that feeling of determination and perseverance, to know you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. To know you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. And once you develop that type of mindset, there's an awful lot you could still do, despite whatever challenges you're faced with in life.
Chris:I love it. I love it and very well said. Very well said. Can you tell everyone how they can reach you if they want to find out more about you?
Ken:Sure, they could go on my website, which is KenKunkincom. That's my name, Ken Kunkin. So if they go to KenKunkincom, that will tell them more about my life, how to get in touch with me and how to purchase my book, which is available not only in hardcover, but as an ebook, as a Kindle, as well as as an audio book. I dictated it as an audio book as well.
Chris:Oh, awesome, that's smart. Look at technology today, right. So good, so good. And all of this information will be listed when the podcast is posted, because you know people are not writing things down in today's time, so it will be there easy for them to find and to contact you if they want to dig on a little bit more about you. For that, ken, thank you so much for your time and your energy today. We really appreciate you.
Ken:Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to share my story with your listeners oh, the pleasure is all mine.
Chris:We really thank you for being a guest here on Glass Half Full and we wish you luck. We wish you a grand and great summer with your family trip to Montana, and, anna, please keep up the work. You're doing fantabulous work over there, helping your partner, and so you guys are a great duo. We thank you for your time today and we'll be in touch real soon. Thank you, chris. Thank you, bye-bye.
Chris:Thank you for tuning in to another inspiring episode of our podcast. I'm your host, chris Levins, and I want to express my gratitude to each and every one of you for being a part of our supportive community. Remember, glass Half Full is not just a podcast. It's a safe platform for everyone to share their life experiences. Your stories and voice matter and we appreciate you for being here with us. If you enjoyed today's episode and want to stay updated with our future content, please subscribe, follow and rate our podcast on Apple Music, spotify and YouTube. Your support means the world to us and it helps us reach even more listeners who can benefit from these valuable life experiences. As we wrap up this episode, always keep in mind you are blessed, no matter the challenges you face. There's a reservoir of strength within you. Until next time, stay positive and remember the glass is always half full of strength within you. Until next time, stay positive and remember the glass is always half full, see ya.