Glass Half Full
Glass Half Full
Daryl Dittmer's Transformative Journey: From Sobriety to Entrepreneurship, Embracing Gratitude and Life's Unpredictable Journey
Author and personal transformation advocate Daryl Dittmer joins me,
Chris Levens, to unravel his remarkable story of resilience and growth. From his early years in Michigan, facing the pressures of a strict Protestant work ethic, to the crossroads of addiction and a journey to sobriety at just 19, Daryl's path is nothing short of inspiring. Through nearly four decades of sobriety, he has turned his life around, using his experiences to guide others with wisdom and compassion.
We explore how Daryl transitioned from recovery to entrepreneurship, emphasizing principles like willingness, humility, and teachability that not only aid personal recovery but foster successful business leadership. Daryl opens up about how daily practices like breath work and meditation anchor him in the present, highlighting the importance of gratitude in personal and professional growth. His stories reveal the power of honesty, humility, and faith, shedding light on how these values have enriched both his sobriety and his entrepreneurial ventures.
As the conversation unfolds, Daryl shares heartwarming anecdotes about family, the joy of writing, and his dedication to lifelong learning. With the influence of mentors and the wisdom passed down through generations, Daryl illustrates how embracing change and self-compassion can lead to a life full of abundance and gratitude. His reflections on staying humble and teachable offer valuable insights for anyone seeking personal transformation and growth. Join us for an episode brimming with lessons on authenticity, presence, and the beauty of life's unpredictable journey.
Website: https://www.daryldittmer.com/
Books: When I Stop Fighting
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CJWW8LDP
When You Stop Fighting https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DFW7PSQT
SM Links:
X Daryl Dittmer (@DarylEDittmer) / X
FB Facebook
IG Author Daryl Dittmer (@whenistopfighting) • Instagram photos and videos
LinkedIn Daryl Dittmer | LinkedIn
Podcast:
Spotify When I Stop Fighting - The Podcast | Podcast on Spotify
Apple When I Stop Fighting - The Podcast Podcast - Apple Podcasts
Amazon When I Stop Fighting - The Podcast | Listen on Amazon Music
YouTube When I Stop Fighting - The Podcast - YouTube
Good morning, good afternoon and good evening wherever you are in the world, and welcome to another episode of Glass Half Full, a podcast and a safe platform where we talk with a variety of teachers, entrepreneurs, spiritualists, uplifters, givers, shakers and serenaders. Everyone has a lesson to learn and a lesson to share. Let's use our life experiences to enrich someone's heart, mind, spirit and soul. Through sharing our experiences, we can be a learning inspiration for one another. I'm your host, chris Levins. Let's welcome today's guest. Today's guest is Daryl Dittmer. Daryl Dittmer is also an author. After a humble and often tumultuous beginning in his life, daryl Dittmer was confronted with a crossroads at the age of 19. Now, having been in recovery almost four decades relentlessly working to improve himself and his life, daryl has committed himself to helping others do the same through his books, his interactions and how he chooses to show up in the world every day. Let's give a warm welcome to Mr Daryl. Author Daryl Dittmer.
Daryl:Thank you so much.
Chris:Good morning.
Daryl:Goodmer, thank you so much, good morning. Good morning, thank you so much, chris, for having me.
Chris:Yes, you're more than welcome. Thank you for taking some time out to be a guest here. On Glass Half Full, can you tell everyone where you are in the world and what time it is, please?
Daryl:Sure, yeah, actually right now I'm, uh, I'm in mexico, uh we we, uh, imply del carmen, we, we live in the states, um, I live in the north georgia mountains and uh, we came down here for a little vacation and uh, we ended up not being able to go back because our mountain got about six inches of snow and ice and nobody's been able to travel up or down.
Daryl:So I don't want to say that we're stuck because it's beautiful, but we're flying back out today, okay Okay, eastern time zone is actually where I am now.
Chris:Okay, wow, that's a lot going on, for sure, and I'm sorry. What time did you say it is?
Daryl:It's Eastern time zone. It's 8.04 am 8.04 am.
Chris:Okay, just for all the international listeners, excellent. Well, thank you for this morning chat. You sound like you are ready to go, so we're going to jump right on into it. I'd like to ask all my guests this first question I believe that our lives are in spiritual design. Can you share your life layout or blueprint with everyone? This is how you grew up, where your family lifestyle, bringing us up to today's time.
Daryl:Sure, yeah, it's. You know, it's been a wonderful and interesting journey, and I'm I'm of the same sort of thought process in terms of I look at my life as a spiritual journey, although I haven't always looked at it in that way. So I grew up in the Midwest in that way. So so I grew up in the Midwest, actually in Michigan, and growing up in Michigan, my dad was a mechanic, my mom was a. She took care of the household and us kids, which I think was a significantly more difficult job than my dad. So, you know it was.
Daryl:It was a midwestern upbringing which, at that point in time, you know, and this was quite a few years ago it seemed as though everybody's dad, you know, worked at either gm ford or chrysler. Um, there was a, a protestant work ethic, sort of, you know, belief system. I think that pervaded my growing up. It's how I grew up. I grew up with, you know, protestant religion. That was fairly strict, I would say, and my parents were fairly strict.
Daryl:My dad was a pretty you a pretty tough-minded guy. He was a Navy veteran in the Korean War and, you know, a really good guy, a very sort of, you know, honest, integrity, hardworking, all that sort of thing. But, you know, tough, and my mom was probably tougher, and so so that was how we, you know, we came into the world, you know, and how we showed up in that family, which you know. I have since learned that that is neither here nor there in terms of how I decide to proceed with my life, but that was the starting point. So around the age of 13, I had my first drink. I was introduced to, you know, working at a young age I was told that you know many things. By the time I was 15, I had to buy for myself, you know, which was. That was just normal, it wasn't anything that was like you know, buy for yourself.
Chris:What does that mean?
Daryl:Like if I wanted a pair of jeans, if I wanted.
Daryl:OK, nobody was buying it for you. Yeah, this was. This was interesting, because my dad, when we were, when we were kids he I was 14, I think at this time and and he put me in front of a farmer at church, we had moved out to the country and he said, can you put them to work? And the farmer said, yeah, I can put them to work, let's get them out there. So. So I go to work on this farm and I have I have what we call in the Midwest tennis shoes, which are just sneakers, but you know they have holes in them. I'm walking through, you know cow and pig poop and you know barnyards with. You know three or four inches of poo and you know that sort of thing. And I said to my dad hey, can I get some work boots? And he said, well, yeah, you're working, so go buy yourself some.
Chris:You know he said, yeah sure, that's a good idea.
Daryl:I think that makes sense for you.
Chris:Yeah, go get some.
Daryl:So anyway, and that was fine. You know, it allowed me to learn some self-reliance to a degree at a young age, but anyway. So when I was was 13, I took my first drink. I remember loving it. I remember wanting to do it more what did you do?
Daryl:wanting to do. It was, uh, actually a mixed drink, I'm gonna say rum and coke, okay, um, and, and that was my introduction, uh, to drinking, and, and I got in a little bit of trouble. I almost got in a fight, uh, because I was, I just the wheels came off and I kept. I was young and this kid who was in high school, older than me, probably a junior or senior high school I kept throwing peanuts into his drink and at one point he got really upset and he put me up against the wall and, you know, wanted to kick my butt and people pulled him off of me and, uh, but that was my introduction. It was just, you know, I, I was, I became a little unruly, um, and and as, as that continued for me through my teens, um, you know, to make a long story short, I got involved in drugs.
Daryl:I got involved in, you know just, the progression happened with me. I stopped caring about many things in my life. My relationship with my family deteriorated. I was, my life was about lies. My life was about hiding. It became about protecting what I grew to enjoy and love, you know, quote, unquote which was drinking and drugs, and that's all I wanted to do it. You know, as that progressed, and that's all I wanted to do.
Daryl:As that progressed, and so at the age of 18, there was a call, an intervention with my parents. It was 1984, toward the end of the year, and they basically said you know, we want you to talk to this drug counselor and if you don't now, just you know, you can usher yourself out of our lives and go figure yourself out. And uh, and I said I'll let you know. And oh my gosh, and getting confronted at that time was really scary, because I'm an 18 year old kid, I'm scared to death, I don't know what's going on. I'm, I don't want to be caught, I don't want to let people down, I don't want to be, I don't want to be what I am at that point, um, but I didn't know any other way to live.
Daryl:And and I went to a New Year's Eve party, and this was going into 1985. So January 31, I guess, I'm sorry, december 31 of 1984. And and I remember being at that party and I remember, you know, there were probably I don't know a couple hundred people there, maybe I'm not sure, but but what I do remember about it was I was around all those people and many of them were my friends, but I was the loneliest I'd ever been in my life and I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue to be on the planet. Those were the things that were going through my mind. Planet, that was. Those were the things that were going through my mind.
Daryl:So so I decided to go talk to the drug counselor, um, and I walked into that meeting. It was just he and I, and, and I was planning on lying, cheating and stealing like I had done normally, um, and he, he's, he, he intimidated the hell out of me. He said you know what? You can't lie to me, don't try, don't start. I've been there, I've done it, I'm sober myself, don't BS me. And so I was as honest with him as I could be at that time in my life, which you know degrees of honesty, I have no idea how honest it was, but I told them everything.
Daryl:I knew to tell, and so that's when I started my sobriety journey. I was put into a 30 day inpatient treatment program.
Chris:And how old are you at this time?
Daryl:I was 19.
Chris:I had just turned 19.
Daryl:Yeah, so. So that's. That's kind of the get the story started. Chris, I'll take a break if you want to jump into something else.
Chris:I know ideally, this is great. It brings us up to in today's time. So what's happening in today's time? Tell us, what is Daryl doing at this moment? What has this propelled you to do today?
Daryl:What has this propelled you to do today? You know everything, honestly Everything my life is. I wake up every day with a smile on my face. I love that and you know that became my definition of success at one point. You know, back when I was a kid I was, and getting sober right, the second version of Daryl's existence. Right is, the first version was up until 19,. The second version, and then there's been probably you know a thousand iterations of the second version, but I wanted to learn how to live and.
Daryl:I, but I wanted to make money and I wanted to do all these things and I grew up, you know, as I said, in a very blue collar environment, but I got involved in business and I took risks and I did things I didn't want to do and I and you know inside me and outside me, and at some point I discovered that you can make money, you can do all kinds of stuff, but if you're not waking up with a smile on your face, none of it's worthwhile.
Daryl:And so that became my definition of success waking up in the morning with a smile on my face and that's what I do.
Chris:Were these the first steps after realizing about the start of the sobriety? Were these the first steps that you were building into your life Was just waking up and being happy, or is that currently, now that you're saying that you're waking up happy?
Daryl:Oh, currently not. Oh yeah, it was a clown show for a long time?
Chris:Well, give us a little taste. What did the path look like after the first step, and how did it shape up to getting to this point of today?
Daryl:Yeah. So in treatment there were two things that I received, or that I perceive now that I received. I'm sure there was a lot more, but one was hope. One was hope that I could have confidence. One was hope that I could look people in the eye, that I could feel good about myself, that I could have a conversation All of those things that I wasn't able to do. And then the other one was the 12 steps. I got involved in the 12 steps and that was something that put a blueprint together for me for living, because I didn't know how to live. And that was okay, because I was a 19 year old kid I probably shouldn't have known how to live, but I had, but I had chosen a path of of self-destruction, and so you know that married with my youth Um it. It left the door open for a lot of change, and a lot of change was necessary.
Chris:And you were willing, obviously, for the change to happen.
Daryl:Yes, I became willing, I did, and they told me. They basically said I think things were a little maybe tougher back then in terms of, you know, you come in the door and, and you know, it was kind of like they weren't mean about it, but it was just like just shut up and listen. You know, like there's people here that know how to live, there's people here that know how to change, there's people here that know how to stay sober, listen to what they say, and and, and they, they taught me things like you know. Another word for humility is being teachable, and and so be teachable. You know, you, you don't know how to do this. If you did, you might already be doing it so.
Daryl:So there's a good possibility that you don't know and so listen. So, yes, willingness and learning how to be teachable were two very important components that I think that I was fortunate to latch on to fairly early like you were an addict or were you just dependent on the, on the drugs and the alcohol? You know, I felt like. I felt like I was dependent on the drugs and the alcohol and I don't. I honestly, at this point in my life and.
Daryl:I don't know how to carve that up. I don't know how to reconcile that, or or I shouldn't even say that, I don't know if that needs to be reconciled, because for me it was. You know, there were a lot of things that I hadn't done. I hadn't lost a wife, I hadn't lost a house, I hadn't lost you know what I mean Like all of those things, because I was 19. I didn't gather any of those things, so it wasn't. It's interesting, that's a great question and I love that question and I think people get get maybe a little hung up on that, but but one of the things they told me when I came in was all you need to have is a desire to stop, and and that was all I wanted to do was to stop, because they convinced me early on that the only way to improve myself and my life was to stop and stay stopped.
Chris:Hmm, yeah, cause going back into it is going to make a mess of things and maybe you might lose your life on the second time through. So yeah, for sure, this is it, just to stop. Wow, right, thank you for sharing that. I want to change a little bit and talk about you being an entrepreneur, a successful entrepreneur. What lessons from your sobriety journey have influenced how you approach business and leadership?
Daryl:That's, you know, for me, it all integrates over time, integrates over time, um, the the lessons that I've learned about living, um, you know, uh, honesty, humility and faith are three things that I dearly value in this life. Um, and the honesty is not, you know, I don't tell people lies, it's, it's am I being honest with me about where I'm at and how I'm showing up and how I'm treating others. Humility is the teachableness and I, and I carry that with me every day. I love to learn, I love to, I love to, um, you know, my journey as an author.
Daryl:I don't have a clue, I don't know. I just I wrote books. You know what I mean. So I don't have a clue how to be an author, so I have to learn all that stuff, you know, and and it's a and it's a wonderful journey, bringing that um teachableness into every new thing. So so, from an entrepreneurial perspective, I had to lay myself out before people that knew more than me and say, please teach me. And and so you know, those are the, the concepts and the precepts for me. And then concepts and the precepts for me. And then, and then faith. You know which is for me? It doesn't necessarily have to be something that we call God or you know whatever it, just I have faith in life and.
Daryl:I have faith that you know, for better or worse, in terms of a name, in terms of a name, call it the universe. I can align myself with the universe and the universe shows me what to do next and it's a really cool thing and, from an entrepreneurial perspective, it's a really cool thing to sort of plug into that energy and that, that flow. Um, and that's where I, you know, those are the things that go back and forth in my life, uh, you know, between life and entrepreneurship and and you know all of the things that have happened and the things that I've done and et cetera, it's, it's, uh, it's just a beautiful thing to watch and being able to, um, observe it, as opposed to, you know, getting my grubby little fingers in it all the time and messing with it and trying to control it.
Daryl:It's enjoyable to observe um and watch life happen and you know this is it.
Chris:This is the layout, that blueprint that I spoke about earlier. That, yeah, things will just fall into how they need. Everything is intertwined. You know, all the things that you have dealt with growing up as a teenager has been brought you to who you are today and the things that the success that it has brought you as well. So, thank you, that's such a great answer. It's all mixing together and having faith is so great. My mom is a woman of faith. It's something we are always feeling that we can continue to work on and build. And same thing with you said humility and honesty was the first one. Honesty humility faith.
Chris:Yes, excellent, excellent. I love that. Thank you and congratulations on being a published author. Let me give you a little.
Daryl:Thank you.
Chris:Yes, thank you, chris. So what inspired you to write your book and what message do you hope readers take away from it?
Daryl:What inspired me to write my book is my wife.
Chris:Oh, that's nice.
Daryl:It was really cool. So I met my wife. I was, I don't know, probably about 20 years into recovery and I was relaying some story of my youth and I was, you know, well away from that lifestyle and that life. And I was telling my wife stories and she's kind of looking at me like like dude, that's not you anymore. I'm like she's like I don't see it. You know, I don't see that person.
Chris:And I said yeah, me either thank.
Daryl:God and I said remind me to write a book someday. And so for the next 18 years or so, you know and it wasn't I just said it sort of in jest a few times Like, oh yeah, I got to get to that and over the next 18 years I probably wrote about three paragraphs or something because I was doing other stuff. You know, I was pretty busy with some of the other activities, and not that that's an excuse, it's just a reason why I didn't and I didn't focus on it and I didn't sit down and start, and which is normally the reason why and start, and which is normally the reason why, you know, things don't get done if I don't start. So, like everybody, Right, right, Exactly, and, and so after COVID, we decided to move where we currently live and we just made some life changes.
Daryl:We sold some business interests and you know this and that, and did a few things that just sort of released us of some of the outer you know things to take care of. I don't want to. All right, I'm going to sit down and write a book.
Daryl:So I wrote the first book when I stopped fighting, so you just sat down and it just spilled right out.
Daryl:It really did. It was kind of crazy. I'm going to say probably, you know, because I had to go through it a few times and figure it out. And, you know, have my wife read it and say you know, does this suck? And she's like no, I think it's all right, interestingly enough, which was weird to me but I just kept writing and then a second book spilled out of me within a total of about six months.
Chris:So this is all two books in one year.
Daryl:Oh yeah.
Chris:Oh, you're on fire.
Daryl:Madness yeah, but anyway that's the personality right Like that's the personality I get it Right Of the of how I got involved in some of the things where my energy was gone in the wrong way and then you know you put that energy in the right direction.
Chris:And there you go.
Daryl:Things can happen, yes. So the second part of the question was what do I hope people get out of the book? And my wife and I were talking about just this very subject yesterday.
Chris:Look at that, oh, I love it. When it's close by, we can talk about it. Yes, let's share. Dig us in on the conversation. Yes, what was discussed?
Daryl:dig us in on the conversation. What, yes, what, what was discussed? So so we were talking about. She was talking about, um, a dream that she had where some, some interesting things got reconciled with her and her family, and and it was just this very interesting and profound dream that she had and, and she could remember it, that's number one, yeah, yeah exactly.
Daryl:I have some killer dreams, but sometimes I wake up like, oh man, I thought that I know that was cool, I just don't remember what happened, anyway. So you know we're talking about that. We're talking about how we show up in life. We're talking about, you know, relationships with family and how they are so you know destructive, and how you know we've both worked through much of that and how she is, you know, working through some of that currently, and this and that.
Daryl:And it was just a really beautiful conversation and at one point I said you know what has helped you with this and what has helped you move through this in many ways, and but how I've changed my relationship with myself as regards my family has been something that has helped me want to move in that direction. And so so, long story short, that's what I want people to get out of. What I write is you know, if they're showing up in life in a way that they're not waking up with a smile on their face, I want them to know that it's possible to do that and show them some of the steps they can take to actually have that happen.
Chris:Nice, nice and well said. For that. You're giving us the tools and I'm a huge believer of this that you know we need tools in our toolbox. You know when situations arise that we can dig in and say what did Daryl say that's right, he did say about this and pull it on out and have something to be able to use. Pull it on out and have something to be able to use and I think it's important for you know, leaders, to give that to everyone is to give us these tools that we can use when they are not there to overcome time. So I love that Nice.
Daryl:Nice, nice, nice.
Chris:Yes, yes, yes, yes. So now, do you feel that you're on a spree of writing? Do you feel like, okay, I? So now do you feel that you're on a spree of writing? Do you feel like, okay, I'm ready for some more writing? Is it about? Are we about to have?
Daryl:a series that's coming out, or do you feel like, okay, I'm content, now, no, I'm, I'm Uh-oh.
Chris:It's funny because I go where I'm led for the most part, that's a great way to be.
Daryl:You know, like I said, when I get my little fingers in the mix, I got to, you know, back away and then allow things to unfold. So the two books, my second book, published October of 2024. So fairly recent, and yeah, and so I I decided at that point, you know, I'm just going to don't want to write a third book until, um, until I know it's time to start writing it. It may be sometime in 2025. It may not, but so, yes, do I do, I, am I going to continue writing? As far as I know? Yes, I am.
Daryl:And because I want to have it's fun, my, my wife said to me, I said, yeah, I think I got a book in me, you know, before, and I wrote the first one. She's like you know what, you have like five in you, and I said, I said I'll commit to three. And then what happens after that? So the first sort of you know series would be three books and the third one is TBD in terms of writing. But but once I start writing, it's, you know, I'll get up at three o'clock in the morning, I'll have my robe on, I'll go up to the office, I will, you know, get my tea and I'll just sit there for the entire day and I'll just write and yeah, exactly, just going in, you know, and my wife will laugh and she'll see me when she sees me, and that's just how it goes.
Daryl:So when I'm ready to do that with book three, yeah, it's going to happen.
Chris:So it's coming, it'll happen. It's on deck, it's in the view. We can see the binding clear pages in the pen. It's coming, it'll happen. It's on deck, it's in the view. We can see the binding clear pages in the pen. It's there. It's there Now, the first book. I don't want to confuse them when you Stop Fighting. Is that the first one?
Daryl:The first book is called when I Stop Fighting Okay.
Chris:When I Stop Fighting. Okay, sorry about that, it is the first book about okay. And then the second book is when you when you stop fighting, okay, okay, when you stop fighting, okay, and so are we looking at it. When they stop fighting, is is we, are we foreshadowing for book? Don't tell me, don't say nothing, I just threw that out there. Just threw that out there. It came to me.
Daryl:It came, threw that out there, just threw that out there. It came to me, it came to me, yeah, I so. So here's the, here's the um, and you can, you can. You can throw another guess in the ring after I tell you this short story, if that's okay. Sure, so, my original sponsor when I got involved in the 12 steps of things. But fantastic human beings.
Chris:Did you say bud?
Daryl:Bud. Yeah, okay, b U D, his name was. His name was Virtus, but everybody called him.
Daryl:Okay, we'll go with, but I called him, but and and just a just, you know, a very, um, peaceful guy. You could look in his eyes and you could see. You know, I met him at about eight months into sobriety for me, and he was at that time probably in his mid, late 50s and he was sober 15, 16 years. But he was the person I wanted to be like from the perspective of. He just seemed to get it, and I don't know what getting it at that point was, but he seemed peaceful. He was always eager to help, he wanted to answer questions, he understood the steps and the whys of the steps. You know all that sort of stuff. So, so when I, I and and my upbringing was was more like you know, if it doesn't fit, get a bigger hammer. You know if, if no pain, no gain. You know all that sort of thing. If you're struggling, swing harder. You know all that sort of thing. If you're struggling, swing harder. You know, like all that kind of stuff.
Daryl:That's tough love yeah exactly, yeah, that sort of stuff, and you know which is all cool and everything until it's not. But so I'm wrestling with you know you wrestle with problems, right, wrestle with everything, just fight it and wrestle it to the ground and, you know, figure itself out in a snap. And that was how I was raised and that's fine. But I came to Bud with a problem one time or you know several problems and I'm wrestling with him and I'm fighting and this and that, internally right, that's where the battles rage. Internally right, that's where the battles rage. And Bud sat me down and he said, daryl, when you stop fighting, the fighting stops.
Daryl:And so that's why I called my first book when I Stop Fighting, which is, you know, was my journey and and my fight and how I, you know, learned over time that that there are many fights that I wage and all of the fights I wage are within, and that I don't have to do that. And and my second book is um is taking that a step further and helping people understand, maybe, where they fight. Take a look at what you're fighting and and some of the battles that may be going on within you that you don't recognize, and and how can things be different. How can we set aside that fighting? So so, though, that's the reason why the books came about. You know, daryl, when you stop fighting, the fighting stops, so so, that's, that's the advent.
Chris:Yes, we love a backstory, for sure, for sure. Okay, let me ask you, um, how do you define a beautiful life? What do you say is a beautiful life?
Daryl:Well, for me a beautiful life is.
Chris:It's a two-part question. I've just stopped halfway, but go ahead.
Daryl:Yes, go ahead. I'm sorry For me. A beautiful life, and I'll preface this by saying that I truly believe that the fact that we have life and the fact that we you know, show up here on this planet and this plane and you know we can interact and we can love and we can change and we can work on ourselves and we can help others and all that stuff is a beautiful thing.
Daryl:That in itself is beautiful. Um and how, and, and. So a beautiful life for me starts with being grateful that I've been given this gift, grateful that I've been given this gift of life where I can do all those things and I can have wonderful relationships and I can love and I can be loved and I can help and I can be helped and and you know the interactions that I can have with others and also you where it all starts is the interactions that I can have with me and how I smooth the seas within myself so that I can help smooth the seas with other people if they're willing to have their seas smoothed. I love that and that's okay. So so that's that's sort of where I come from in terms of of a beautiful life is.
Daryl:It's beautiful the fact that we're here, it's beautiful the fact that we have it, but I'm in charge of of how beautiful my showing up on this planet becomes.
Chris:And so the steps that people can take to create their own beautiful life, regardless of where they're starting from, is basically feeling that they are being grateful for just being here. Just starting off with being gratefulness is what you're saying as well. Right that the starting point of just being grateful for just being, I think that that's a huge thing, I mean you know, it's so easy, and especially with the world as it you know, as it currently shows up
Daryl:with social media and so much to be distracted by and so many things that can take up our time and our attention. To be able to stop and to be able to just allow what's there and I'll say it's not the phone, it's not the computer, it's not the TV, it's not all of those things that distract us, just to be with what I am and be grateful for what I am is is yeah, that's a, that's a wonderful starting point and that's. But it doesn't happen on day one. It takes practice, and it took practice for me to get to the point where I wake up grateful.
Daryl:And but, you know, and I'll just say real simply you know it started for me saying you know, my eyes can see and my ears can hear, and, and you, know the planets move and you know I have nothing to do with that. So I'm grateful that I've been given that and that was the starting point for me and it and it, just it grew from there.
Chris:I love that. And you know you can't gratefulness, you know, be. You can't be angry and grateful at the same time. It's not going to work, and so gratefulness is a great way to really bring us back. And someone always asks about with these things, trying to make them present, to try to be present with gratefulness, to try to be present with you know, just living in life in general. Do you feel you live in the now of life, the presence of now?
Daryl:Yeah, I do In, you know, is it a constant state? No, you know, is it a constant state? No, um, you know probably where I experience that the most is when I'm practicing breath work or meditation or you know those sorts of things. Um, but, and and also when I'm, when I'm grateful in the moment, that is a very now. I can't be grateful if I'm not present now. And so there are many states where you know I am right here in the now and I think over time it becomes more about the now. You know, as we learn more about ourselves and our relationship to life and the universe and all that sort of thing. The now is really all there is.
Daryl:It's the only time to be, but you know we can get caught up in.
Daryl:oh, I'm going to do this next week and I got to do that and you know this and that and some of the things that we have to attend to can sort of pull us out of that. But I'm also a firm believer that if I'm not, you know there's a difference between thinking and adding feeling to something. So if my mind goes to a place and my emotions don't necessarily go to that place, I'm not completely invested in being gone, if that does that make sense.
Chris:No, that does yeah.
Daryl:So so my mind could go somewhere and and you know thinking about tomorrow, but if I'm so, my mind could go somewhere and you know thinking about tomorrow. But if I'm scared to death of tomorrow or I'm feeling guilt for my past or fear for the future, those are times when I'm getting pulled out of the now and it can be destructive for me. But you know, the thinking is a different thing. I look at that as fairly innocuous if it's not married with the emotion.
Chris:It's true, I agree as well, and some people are like you know, if you think about thinking about being in the now, then you're now and you're in the now. Like someone said that you know you think about being in the now. You are now, think you are now in the now. You know it's a great way to bring yourself right there is to think about am I in the now? Yeah, you are right now. So from that we can continue going on for it. But nicely, thank you for answering that. I wanted to ask, as a? You describe yourself as a full-time student of life. What are some of the most important lessons you have learned and how do you continue to grow and learn? I find that sometimes, as leaders, we do a lot and because you're doing a lot, sometimes we can become stagnant because of what we're doing. So how do you continue to be able to feel that you're growing and learning, um, as well as being a leader?
Daryl:You know, my, my, I've learned that, that my daily practices anchor me, um, anchor me in continuing to experience and evolve and move forward within myself, and that's where it all starts and that's where it all has started for me. I can change things outside of me till the cows come home, but if I don't change things inside of me, nothing changes. Yeah, um, and so those are the things that anchor me and those are the things that keep me going. And it's it's interesting because there was a, there was a, a teacher. He was actually a sober guy, but he was a pastor. He was a minister at a church in in in Michigan, long time ago. He's since passed quite quite many, many years ago, but his name was Jack Oland and he used to say you know, drive home a different way from work, or or walk through the house differently to get somewhere, or, you know, change up how you're doing things and and don't just continue to do the same things over and over and over and over, because chances are you're going to get the same results. Yep, and, and I agree with that a hundred percent, and, and you know, I've gone, gone through, and I say this in my books and I think it's important.
Daryl:You know, I go through times when I'm very disciplined with my, my, my diet and my exercise and my meditation and my breath work, and that's how I spend most of my. You know, I start my days in a certain way and that anchors me for the rest of my day and that's a beautiful thing. But I also I like to change things up because I don't want it to be repetitive. I don't want it to be. You know, when I was a kid, we'd say a certain prayer before eating and at some point it just becomes words that come out of your mouth. You don't think about it, you just want to get through it so you can get to the food. You know what?
Chris:I mean that's true.
Daryl:Yeah, you're right, that can happen Like a script, and that happened as a kid and so I'm on watch for that in my life. Um. So so, to to better answer the question, I would say that, um, you know, I started. I never thought I was going to do this. My wife bought me a Kindle last year and I love to read. Because I love to, uh, I love to read books again, um, which which is a really cool thing, because it's almost like I never read it. You know the first time, right, because I, I get out something different, I I extract something different. Every single time my mom says the same yeah she's.
Chris:I cannot say this answer. I can't. I can't agree with you because I don't know, because I'm not this person. But my mom says the same. It's like she's reading again for the first time. I'm like, really okay, I take y'all word for it.
Daryl:I believe y'all okay, it's a it's a very cool thing and and so so my wife bought me a kindle. I I was like I really like books. You know, thanks money, I appreciate it, but but I really like books. And then I was a year later I'm like, let me check out this kindle. And so I downloaded like 8 000 books on the kindle. Um, but I oh wow, and it's the coolest thing ever. I love it because I can travel with it and I don't have to bring a bunch of books.
Chris:Yeah, this is it. It's, yeah, it's, it's definitely a great idea yeah, really cool thing.
Daryl:But but the point is, and how that how that, you know, changes my habits and changes how I do things is I read from? Uh, I used to read in the afternoon like okay, when I get done doing all the stuff that I do, I'll read in the afternoon, and then five minutes I'm falling asleep like like I can't keep my eyes open. So I started reading in the morning Like first thing, get up, get my teammate and then start reading and read. And I can, I can just read and read. And so so changing up how I do things changes. It keeps things fresh, it keeps me moving, it keeps me paying attention, it keeps. It keeps me from getting stale in some of the things that that can become stale with with continued repetition. So so, if that makes sense, I hope that answers the question properly, chris.
Chris:No, it did, Of course. Yeah, no, no, no, it did, you're good, you're good.
Daryl:Don't worry. So anyway, I try to keep it fresh and I try to just keep learning. Yes and I love that there's so much out there.
Chris:There is right, there is. My grandmother used to say if you don't learn something new within 24 hours, you've wasted a whole day. And so I have. Every time I learn something new, I'm like, yes, I learned something new today. Because it's true, like we should be, you know, pushing ourselves to learn something new. It's just a short amount of time, but people can spend so much time watching a TikTok or Instagram or YouTube video. So we have to back in the day when all of this didn't exist. We were outside playing, we were reading books, we were doing coloring and doing other things of that sort. But now these kids, they're like go outside and do what? Yeah, it's a whole other generation, for sure. I wanted to ask you what role does self-compassion play with self and with others?
Daryl:You know, there's a saying that I love. That is's such an important thing for me, and this is what comes up for me when I think of compassion with myself and also with others is is there's two things in life that can take me, uh, to a different place, and one is don't be too hard on yourself, so good. And the second one is don't be too hard on yourself, so good. And the second one is don't be too easy on yourself.
Chris:Now, I really like that one.
Daryl:So that's what I try to live by, and that's what I try to live by for myself, but it's also what I try to live by for others, and the reason that I say that is because compassion for me is not allowing myself to get away with stuff that I and it goes with self-honesty that I shouldn't be allowing myself to get away with, and to be continually as honest with myself as I can be about how I show up for me and others in this life. And how does that extend to other people? That extends to other people. I'm a firm believer that if I'm not and this is different than you know expecting something or someone to be different than they are, but if I'm not expecting the best from people, then I'm doing them a disservice, in my opinion.
Daryl:Wow, that doesn't mean they have to be like I am. That doesn't mean they have to act like I am. That doesn't mean they have to act like you know, like I think they should act. But but if I know someone is, is not trying, um, I will let them know and and they don't have to do anything about it. I will just say my piece and and hopefully something resonates for them. Uh, and that's how I, that's how I feel about compassion.
Chris:Is this for everyone, friends, family.
Daryl:It is, it is only because I can join people in their misery. But it doesn't do anybody any good if I help to pull them up, you know, to the best of my ability, or at least give them and you mentioned this earlier, chris some of the tools you know, here are some of the things that that I did that helped.
Daryl:Um, that's what I want to do. I want them to experience life in a different way. Um, and and there are times when people need just what we would normally call compassion, which is you know what. I'm sorry that happened and you know we're going to have to work through it. I'm here to help you, I'm here to do whatever you need me to do, but then at some point, where does it turn from? I'm from, I'm experiencing something difficult to, I'm wallowing in it and feeling sorry for myself, and you know all those sorts of things that are very slippery slope. So I believe in helping people up to the extent that I'm capable. I love that.
Chris:Yes, nice, thank you. All right, so what's next for you in your journey? Are there any new projects, goals or dreams coming up? Well, we know about the book that's on standby, yeah, yeah. When they stop fighting.
Daryl:It's probably 80% out of mind. Yeah.
Chris:Sorry Go ahead.
Daryl:My initial thought was so the first one when I stopped fighting, the second one when you stopped fighting, then the third one would be the fighting stops.
Chris:Oh, ok, all right, hey, that's better than mine. That's way better than mine. This is why you're the author. See, there it is, I like that.
Daryl:That's the original thought. But you know, what's next for me is my wife and I you know we're.
Chris:What's your wife's name? She needs to be mentioned.
Daryl:Christina, okay, she's a Chris.
Chris:Okay, we love that, christina. Yes, yeah, you and Christina. What's happening?
Daryl:You know we do a fair amount of vacationing. We've got a new grandchild.
Chris:Oh, congratulations, you're a young grandfather. Wow, I guess sort of. Oh my gosh. I guess sort of.
Daryl:Tell my niece that Congratulations, that's exciting. Tell my knees that um that's uh.
Chris:congratulations, that's exciting.
Daryl:It's a, it's a beautiful thing. It really is, Um so so. One about seven months old, her name is lively, she's wonderful. And then uh in in in March. Uh, we've got another one coming from uh, another one of our sons, and so, yeah, it's just a beautiful time. So we actually came to Mexico to spend time with my son's wife's family.
Chris:Did you tell us that you had kids? Did you mention your children at all?
Daryl:I did not.
Chris:Oh my gosh, I cannot believe you didn't tell us about the kids. They're going to be like Dad. What is going on? I was just I thought it was just you and your wife. I didn't think you had any children. No, well, you know, they're old.
Daryl:That's so funny Stop.
Chris:Dad, you're digging a hole.
Daryl:One's turning 28 soon, the other one is 31.
Chris:They're babies, they're babies, oh my gosh, they're cranking a lot. Oh, that's great. That's cool. Okay, you're a dad and now a granddad. I'm sure they must be.
Daryl:Yeah, for sure. So you know we follow where life leads. We do a fair amount of vacationing. We just you know we, we love sort of what we do every day, our normal life routine. Yeah, what's next?
Chris:It's interesting, but I have no idea which is a really cool place to be. That's exciting too, right? Yeah, yeah, that you are just going to be open up to the possibilities that come before you and that's, and being present for that, so that's, that's awesome. You'll be able to find exactly what you need to be, and that's what we want, for sure, for sure.
Daryl:Yeah, for sure.
Chris:Well, I like to ask all my guests this final question Is your glass half empty or half full?
Daryl:glass half empty or half full? I guess my initial inclination as far as answer to that question is it's overflowing most of the time. Okay, okay.
Chris:There it is.
Daryl:Which is and I don't mean that from the perspective other than I'm just I'm enamored with life. I, I, I enjoy it every day. Um, you know, a lot of things happen, great things, you know, that we would term as great and and and things that we may not term as as exciting or fun, but it's all just part of the mix, you know, and it's all just part of living and having learned that over these years, it's overflowing. So it's just, it's a wonderful journey, it's a wonderful ride, it's a wonderful adventure, and I'm grateful for it.
Chris:Yes, nothing wrong with the overflow, for sure. Can you tell? Do you have any final thoughts for our listeners, anything you want to leave us with?
Daryl:You know, can I tell a short little story? Sure, this is something that when I was first getting sober and I was still 19, maybe 20, there was a meeting that we would go to and it was at a place called the Community Center in a city that was near us at that time, and this meeting was a big meeting. It was one of the bigger meetings in that city, and so there were a lot of people there. I was young, I was with a bunch of you know guys that some were serious about sobriety in life. Some weren't quite as serious, but there was a gentleman there and he was probably, I'm going to say, in his 70s somewhere, and he was kind of a slight guy, walked, you know, a little hunched over, and but at that time he, he was about 40 years sober. And so, you know, us kids we looked at him and we're like this guy's just he's some sort of a deity, you know, like he's just this cool, like unbelievable, we couldn't believe it. He's just this cool, like unbelievable, we couldn't believe it. And he didn't have much to say. But when he spoke, you know, we listened and his name was Jimmy. I talk about him a little bit in my first book, but he was the only person at that meeting.
Daryl:You know 12 step meeting at that time, that and 40 years sober and and revered by everyone. But he would go grab the coffee pot and and fill it up you know the little graph and he would go and fill everybody's coffee. You know, top it off if they need it, that sort of thing. Just this, this giving wonderful service oriented guy, and it was just such a a wonderful thing that that I watched and and and it gave me an idea of of that humility you know that he had and and it was just, you know, in that service oriented thought process.
Daryl:And one of the things that he used to say and this is this is a big thing that I'd like to leave everyone with is, he said, if you want to have a successful sobriety and a successful life meaning internally, and it could also translate to externally you have to learn how to stay small. And I didn't exactly know what that meant, but it always intrigued me, and what he meant by stay small was stay teachable, stay humble, stay open to learning and stay open just being taught from everywhere. Everyone can teach us something and I think that's one of the most important things. Especially today, where information seems so important and trivial answers seem so important, being open to learning from everything and everywhere is incredibly important, so staying small is something I carry in my pocket every day.
Chris:I love that. That is great. Nice Look at you storyteller. I love it.
Daryl:Thanks, Jimmy.
Chris:Thanks, jimmy Thanks.
Daryl:Jimmy, yes, jimmy, and.
Chris:Bud. We doing it in here, jimmy and Bud. This is it. This is it. I love it. That's so great. Thank you for that nugget. Yes, can you tell everyone how they can reach you if they want to find out more about you?
Daryl:Sure.
Chris:And about your books.
Daryl:Oh, yes, my website is daryldittmercom, which is D-A-R-Y-L-D-I-T-T-M-E-Rcom, and there's information about me there, you know bios and talks about the books and gives an idea of what the books are about, some of the things we talked about today and some other things that we may not have talked about today, and that's really to you know. You can find links there for the books you know to go buy on Amazon. I did audio books in my own voice for both of those, which was a really kind of a cool, fun process. So audiobooks are available as well, and I spend, uh, you know, some time on twitter. I've got some other, uh, social media stuff, but twitter is probably the one where I spend the most time, and that's daryl e. So, at daryl e ditmer, d-a-r-y-l-e-d-i-t-t-m-e-r. So those are a couple of places to find me.
Chris:My website's probably the best place to check me out, and all of these links will be listed underneath the posting, so you know people don't pull out pins anymore today to write anything down so this.
Chris:Everything will be there at one click away. They can be on Spotify listening to when I stopped fighting. So yeah, we will make sure everything is there with your social media as well. Thank you so much, Daryl, for being a guest today. On glass half full, we have enjoyed you and have enjoyed all of the the knowledge that you have dropped in, and have enjoyed all of the knowledge that you have dropped in and just sharing your story with us. It was so great. Thank you for being a guest today.
Daryl:Thank you so much, Chris. I enjoyed it immensely and we'll do it again sometime. Thank you so much.
Chris:Yes indeed, yes indeed. Thank you for your time. We'll be in touch.
Daryl:Sounds good.
Chris:Thank you, Bye Indeed. Thank you for your time. We'll be in touch. Sounds good. Thank you, Bye-bye, Bye.
Chris:Hello, listeners of Glass Half Full, Thank you for tuning in to another inspiring episode of our podcast. I'm your host, Chris Levins, and I want to express my gratitude to each and every one of you for being a part of our supportive community. Remember, Glass Half Full is not just a podcast. It's a safe platform for everyone to share their life experiences. Your stories and voice matter and we appreciate you for being here with us. If you enjoyed today's episode and want to stay updated with our future content. If you enjoyed today's episode and want to stay updated with our future content, please subscribe, follow and rate our podcast on Apple Music, Spotify and YouTube. Your support means the world to us and it helps us reach even more listeners who can benefit from these valuable life experiences. As we wrap up this episode, always keep in mind you are blessed, no matter the challenges you face. There's a reservoir of strength within you. Until next time, stay positive and remember the glass is always half full, See ya.