Glass Half Full
Glass Half Full
Honoring Christian's Legacy: A Father's Tale of Love, Loss, and Hope
Can you imagine facing a terminal cancer diagnosis at 22 and still radiating positivity and strength? Today's episode of Glass Half Full is graced by Christopher Cochran, who shares his extraordinary journey of love, loss, and resilience shaped by his late son, Christian. Christopher, an author, inspirational speaker, CEO, and director of the Christian Cochran Legacy Fund, takes us through his upbringing in a supportive and creatively nurturing family, revealing how these early experiences grounded his outlook on life.
We explore the incredible bond between Christopher and Christian, a young man whose intelligence and empathy left an indelible mark on everyone he met. Diagnosed with terminal cancer just after college, Christian's response was a testament to his unyielding spirit. Through his book, "What's Good About Today," Christian's message of finding daily positives continues to inspire many. Christopher honors his son's legacy through the Christian Cochran Legacy Fund, which supports children in need, the arts, and animal welfare, and promotes initiatives that uplift inner-city kids.
Our conversation dives deep into the healing journey of Christopher's family, highlighting the importance of mindset in overcoming grief and adversity. We discuss essential leadership qualities like love, kindness, and resilience, drawing insights from Christian's life and daily choices. As we conclude, we leave you with a poignant reflection on viewing the glass as half full, urging you to find something good in every day. Join us for this heartfelt episode that promises to enlighten and inspire.
https://www.chriscochranspeaks.com/
https://www.christiancochran.org/
https://a.co/d/hULg0kl ( Amazon Book link "Whats Good About Today")
Good morning, good afternoon and good evening wherever you are in the world, and welcome to another episode of Glass Half Full, a podcast and a safe platform where we talk with a variety of teachers, entrepreneurs, spiritualists, uplifters, givers, shakers and serenaders. Everyone has a lesson to learn and a lesson to share. Let's use our life experiences to enrich someone's heart, mind, spirit and soul. Through sharing our experiences, we can be a learning inspiration for one another. I'm your host, chris Levins. Let's welcome today's guest. Today's guest is Christopher Cochran. Christopher Cochran is the author, inspirational speaker, ceo and director of the Christian Cochran Legacy Fund, of the Christian Cochran Legacy Fund of the Pittsburgh Foundation, dedicated to spreading his late son Christian's legacy of love, positivity and resilience. Let's give a warm welcome to Christopher Cochran.
Christopher C.:Thank you for the intro, chris, that was pretty good. Good morning, good morning.
Chris:Well, thank you, I tried to do my best. Thank you very much as a Christopher. I hope that I could bring you in right as well. So, good morning how are you? Today.
Christopher C.:I'm doing great. How are you doing today? I am very.
Chris:What's good about today? I'm here with you. Yes, it's evening for me and I am doing very well. Thank you for asking, and we're happy to have you as a guest here. On Glass Half Full, can you tell everyone where you are in the world and what time it is, please?
Christopher C.:I am located in Pittsburgh, pennsylvania. It is 9.39 am and, yeah, I live about 15 minutes north of the city, a little suburb of Pittsburgh called Cranberry Wexford, so it only takes me about 15, 20 minutes of downtown Pittsburgh.
Chris:So which is nice? Nice cranberry, that sounds nice, that's cute.
Christopher C.:Cranberries are nice. There's nothing threatening about the word cranberry. No, not at all. Not at all.
Chris:Oh yeah, I guess that's true too, right? Well, we ain't going to worry about that today. All right, we're going to jump right on in. I like to ask all my guests this first question I believe that our lives are in spiritual design. Can you share your life layout or blueprint with everyone? This is how you grew up, where your family lifestyle up until today.
Christopher C.:Sure, I was born into a loving two-parent home. I grew up with four other siblings, all boys. If you can imagine the wildness of that home. It was very close-knit family.
Chris:You got a strong mother.
Christopher C.:Family has always. What's that? Yes, she is.
Chris:Four boys. Yeah, she's strong.
Christopher C.:And we were all wrestlers, so you can imagine the madness going on there. Family's always been at the center of my life and we've certainly in that time. We faced our share of joys and challenges together, like any family across this country, across this world. And my journey was really shaped by the loss of my son, Christian, and he passed away at cancer at the age of 23. And, honestly, his wisdom and positivity have been a profound impact on me. His wisdom and positivity have been a profound impact on me and it's his spirit and his mantra and the things that he taught me that inspired me to write the book. What's Good About Today? A Purpose Driven Life and create, as you mentioned, the Christian Cochran Legacy Fund through the Pittsburgh Foundation. No-transcript resilience with the world. That's my goal for the rest of my life. That's my path at this point.
Chris:Did you grow up in a spiritual family at all? Did you attend any type of services, churches? Were you guys involved in that type of thing growing up or no?
Christopher C.:Yeah, very much so. So I grew as a lutheran in central pennsylvania, camp hill, pennsylvania, um my mother was was very much tied into the community religiously. Uh, we went to church every sunday. I was an altar boy.
Chris:Oh okay yeah, I was in the choir.
Christopher C.:Uh, my father was oh, hospitals. She was so creative and she was a house mom, but she was the most creative person you've ever met. She just brought a smile to everyone's face and what she could do is she could just create something. I remember we went it always sticks in my mind. We went to an old folks' home and she told everybody in the crowd. She said we're going to go to China today and everybody's like you know they're like what?
Chris:And my mom, one of those giant dragons that you you know.
Christopher C.:They create a parade. And she started from the beginning as if they were all in their seats on a plane and she created this imagery of taking them overseas and gave them the illusion that they were arriving and trying to because they couldn't go anywhere. And my mother just had this amazing creativity to generate smiles and to create these, this warmth and this light, and otherwise, you know, these people were going through darkness and really at the end of their life. So I learned early on that empathy and caring for others was always a structure of my life and that's due to my mother very much so. My father was a navy man, he was a frogman. Uh, during the korean war he served on a sub, so you can imagine he came from. You know he's very strict and you know when he's a strict. He was very loving but very strict. You know he's very strict and you know when I say strict. He was very loving but very strict about, you know, being honorable and loyalty, and so that's where I picked up a lot of those, the traits.
Chris:I love that. What great qualities and how exciting for your mom that you could experience that, that she would take you with her, because that is so amazing, yes, the sense of just the imagery of where we are and imagining we do this in drama workshops as well. It's so great and we can have the adventures and that is awesome, that she could show you that at such a young age. Wow, awesome. Yeah, I love that. And are your parents still living?
Christopher C.:No, no. My parents passed away within a year of one another, back in 2014 oh, I'm so sorry oh, they, yeah, but they oh nothing to be sorry about there now.
Christopher C.:My parents lived a beautiful, full life. I'm very grateful that I got the time, uh, so anyone would be lucky to live the full lives that they, that they live. So, uh, it's a kid, listen, death is something that all of us deal with, so it's nothing, it's just another destination. So, but they, they live full. They were very loving. Uh, they were together, married for my Lord, uh, 50 years, more than 50, 60 years. I guess, you know, 70 years, wow, many years, wow, yeah, long time. That's a long time.
Chris:so yeah, we stayed, you know. So, like I said, very tight family that way and are you still close with your brothers?
Christopher C.:yeah, yeah, four brothers. Uh, we're spread out all over the country but uh, we talk, oh, we see each other when we can and yeah, we're you know there, there's always been. You know, siblings siblings are interesting. You can have arguments I'm sure people can relate to that, disagreements and I think, especially when you go through the things that my wife, my two other children, we all went through in the last three years, four years, you know it separates out a lot of things, some good, some bad, but it's okay. Yeah, I have a relationship with them, so that's a good thing.
Chris:Awesome. Thank you so much for sharing that, for sharing Absolutely. I want to ask you what's been your greatest awakening?
Christopher C.:My greatest awakening. Yes, Well, that's yeah.
Chris:Maybe there could be more than one right, but something that has taken you from one place to another. You've realized some type of you've changed.
Christopher C.:It has changed you, changed your life in a direction well, that's actually a pretty easy question, because my greatest awakening was realizing the impact christian's message and how deeply it resonated with others. His question of what's good about today it just continues to guide me has been become a way of life for many honestly and who have heard the story. So it awakened me to the power of love, to the power of resilience and the importance of sharing that message with the world. So that awakening to see the impact that it has on so many, it's just strengthened my resolve, strengthened my will to continue to show love as long as there's air in my lungs. That's my ultimate goal in this life and I'll continue to do that. Yeah, that's my greatest awakening, for sure.
Chris:I love that. I love that. So tell us about Christian. What happened? What has brought up to this point?
Christopher C.:yeah well, christian, uh, beautiful soul, you talked about theater. Christian was a big theater boy. Um so, christian, uh, my wife and I are high school sweethearts. We started dating when I was 15 oh, that's cute, I'm 55 now so you can do the map oh, I love that it's still out there.
Chris:You guys are like a storybook. Oh that's, that's cute Nice.
Christopher C.:Yeah, so we dated all through high school. We dated through college. She went to the University of Pittsburgh, I went to the University of Tennessee and we met at a party, by happenstance. You know, she was an upperclassman, she was two grades ahead of me, she was beautiful and we connected on a stairwell, literally past one another, just eyes, no talking. The next day she asked me out on a date, which is, you know, you think about it, how amazing that a woman would do that. She just called me up, asked me out on a date and I decided to go on this date. I forgot completely that I already had a girlfriend. Luckily she was out of town.
Chris:Oh my gosh, Are you serious? Come on.
Christopher C.:Yeah, she was out of town with her parents on vacation. But I knew there was something really special about this person and she, because of her kindness right, it's the thing that draws me into. Anyone is just genuine kindness, and so I knew right away that this is someone I needed to be near, and we started our journey. We got engaged, got married, had a beautiful honeymoon, we decided to have children.
Chris:How old are you at this point?
Christopher C.:I was 26, I think, when I got married. Yeah yeah 26. I graduated. We spent two years kind of in that love fest of just, of just.
Chris:Let's not, you know let's enjoy everything, of course, which is needed.
Christopher C.:It's needed yeah, we knew we wanted to have kids pretty quickly, and so we we did. And we knew the name immediately, which was christian christian's our first born, and we just knew he'd be special. We knew that he was going to be something different from the get-go and he was, I think, before the age of 11 months. He was speaking full sentences.
Christopher C.:He was just in tune. Now, intelligently, he was this. But what we noticed early on was his compassion. His love was extraordinary. He had this incredible empathy in him, so we used to refer to him as Mr Comforter, because he could comfort all those who were not feeling well or not doing well.
Christopher C.:And I remember christian even uh, at eight years of age, when he was getting on the bus for the first time. You know all these kids they bustle to get on that bus. You know they got to get the best seat, they got to be next to the best friend, they got to be in the back of the bus, and christian never did that. Christian always let everyone go onto the bus first, including at the very end. It would be the special needs children, and he would help them on and he would take the last seat. He didn't mind being in the front because they gave him an opportunity to communicate and talk with the bus driver. Okay, he just that's how he, that's how he thought about life and so.
Christopher C.:But on August 26th of 2020, christian was hit with terminal cancer and he had just graduated from college, from honors college, and he had come home. He only school's only an hour and a half away and up to this time, you know, christian was an extraordinary human being, always had been Like I mentioned. He was the lead in every musical. He's the lead in every play. He was the prom king in a very large school, very well known. He'd been in a movie he was in the Dark Knight Rises.
Christopher C.:He was on the path doing some amazing things and he came home he felt back pain and ultimately we had blood tests, we had to get a CT scan and we were taking the Hillman Cancer Institute and I remember walking in with my son and the doctors telling Christian he had terminal cancer and I remember my knees buckling because I just knew this was the shift ultimately in Christian's life that had changed everything changed his life, changed my life, changed my family's life, changed all the beautiful people around him and how it would affect them. But Christian was so strong. He looked at me, put his hand on my shoulder, he said Dad, don't worry about it, I'm going to be just fine and you're going to be fine and everything's going to be fine. And he just had that strength. And I tell you, when he came home that day, of course I had to come back to the house. You could only let one parent in the hospital.
Chris:I had to go back and tell his mother what had happened.
Christopher C.:All of us are sitting down and I told her what had been told to us and what was going to happen. And Christian, when we said to Christian we're so sorry as we cry, and we said we're so sorry for what this has done to you, why you know, and you know to this point, we're good, you know we're not bad people. We go to church, we do all the right things, we stayed together.
Chris:Yeah, you feel like why has this happen to us?
Christopher C.:Sure, you go through those questions and certainly you learn that later on. Why those questions? But he said to us it's okay, I would rather this burden be mine, I don't want it to be anyone else's burden.
Chris:That's what he said to us Wow, and he's like 22, 23 years old.
Christopher C.:He's 22. Wow, yeah, that's a statement to come from a 22-year-old, my gosh.
Christopher C.:And I'll tell you something, Chris From the moment Christian got the diagnosis to the moment he took his last breath here in our house, surrounded by all of our love, he never complained one time. He never said why? Me? He never said why did this happen to me? He quite the opposite. He flourished, he went and got it. Did this happen to me? He quite the opposite. He flourished, he went and got it. He wanted to work, If you can imagine remotely. He worked for ADP. He didn't want to let people down. He started to create his own music.
Chris:It pushed him to do more.
Christopher C.:He did podcasts yeah, it's podcast, and he would. The book what's Good About Today is his message, because his mother and I would say to Christian we're so sorry, and I would cry I'm so sorry, and he'd say, no, dad. He said what's good about today and it was his question. It was his daily reminder to us that you can absolutely see the beauty, the wonder, in every single day, and that could be through the laugh of someone, a walk, the sun that shines on you, drinking a cup of coffees I had this morning, the fact that I get to move around, go out, hear the birds. There are so many things that are beautiful about the day and he reminded us that you have to look at those things. And he did remind us and friends and family when they would be the ones that are down. He's the one that's going to die.
Chris:And he's like come on, you guys put it together.
Christopher C.:Guys, look at, look at the beauty in all. And so death was just another journey for him, and he was excited for the journey.
Chris:He could see it because there's more. This isn't it for us, but yeah, he, he understood that. Wow, wow, that is amazing, amazing individual. Thank you for sharing the story and just touching on that, I realize, even probably just it's a joyous thing as you're sharing it with us and we can tell. But still, thank you for opening up that. I want to talk a little bit about the book.
Christopher C.:So you have written this book, tell me what is it that you hope that readers take away from the story or the message of the book? Well, of course, I wrote the book to honor Christian and his message. His positivity, strength throughout the illness is what inspired myself and everyone around him. I wanted to share our family's journey. The lessons we learned from Christian offer hope to others going through difficult times and the book is a tribute to his life and a way to keep his message of love and gratitude alive. And the book is a tribute to his life and a way to keep his message of love and gratitude alive. You know it's.
Christopher C.:People have asked me. They'll say what's this book? You know, in a general sense, what it's about and it's a love story. It's a love story about a family that and it takes you back to the very beginning. I talk about meeting my wife right, because you got to bring context to a book and how did this journey happen? And this journey, by the way, and I've come to learn, I speak it a lot and I go to events and I'm invited in for different reasons.
Christopher C.:I speak at university level, which is young adults. That's a different kind of message. Yes, I speak at places where it's promotional of the book and that draws a crowd of people who are going through difficult grieving, who have grieved much worse circumstances than mine. You know, and it, you know, that's the book was meant to to be able to provide a roadmap. That's why I call it a purpose-driven life, because you can always go back to this book and at the end of every single chapter there's really a subset of just outline of that chapter, right, things that you've learned, things that we talked about, things that you can take with you takeaways.
Chris:A little outline.
Christopher C.:Because I think every yeah a little take their takeaways, because I think people are always looking for answers, right, the why me's and what's the purpose to this life. What's the purpose? What's going to happen? Why do good things? Why do bad things happen to good people?
Chris:Right, that's probably the biggest one, right. You've heard so many times, you know, yeah, yeah.
Christopher C.:And and and the. Candidly, I don't know the answers to those fully. You know God knows the answers to those questions. Yes, you know, but one of the things I think I try to tell everyone and help those people is. There's two things that I think. Yes, of that control, I used to think I was in control, because there's really two Chris Cochran's he talked to Chris Cochran four years ago pre-cancer, and I don't know that guy at all.
Chris:How was he?
Christopher C.:different, because I think that guy led a lot with his head, not his heart, and that's a big difference. Right, I'm not saying you don't leave with your head for certain things. There's financial reasons why you have to lead with your head, but I will tell you that the majority, if not all, my decisions I lead directly from the heart, from the neck down, and not use that in my head, because when you use your heart to make decisions, you use lots of different qualities when you do that. You use lots of different qualities when you do that. I talk a lot about in the book, about the art of pausing and being mindful of what you say and how you react to things, and so I think there's a lot to be said in that, and so I think, yeah, I think it's important that we do that.
Chris:I mean, I agree, I feel that I lead with both head and heart. I agree, I feel that I lead with both head and heart and the heart is letting me make the decision that needs to be the correct decision, but the head is kind of guiding that in, so that way I'm not putting myself at risk because I'm trying to do too much or that I've combined the two, but that's just something that's happened through life and living, because we grew up with heart. So that was something that I knew. It was the other. And you know, being nice people will get over on you, they will try to do things so that you feel like there's a fine line where you have to be able to be in the midst of that. But I like how you broke it down a bit Nice, nice, thanks. I like how you broke it down a bit Nice, nice, thanks. And what is the significance of chapter the 8,508 days? What?
Christopher C.:does it mean to you? Yeah, well, it really is. The is a way of showing that life is very, very short. So, when you think about how 8,508 days is, it's the amount of time that Christian was on this earth and it shows you how little time we all really have. And it talks about, really, what do you want to leave in terms of a legacy during the time that you're here? Um, it reminds us of how short but impactful a life can be. Uh, despite the brevity of time. Um, here, I believe christian lived every day with purpose, joy and love. For me, it's deeply personal, personal reflection of the value of time and how we choose to live each day. So that chapter is meant to bring clarity on those issues.
Christopher C.:I think there's plenty of places, honestly, where you can go out, and that's kind of how I did that for that chapter. When I started to build that chapter, he was 23, was 23 when he died. He was 22 when he was diagnosed. He lived for about a year, uh, but you know, during that diagnosis. But there's plenty of places where you can type in your birth date and figure out. You know how long have you been on this earth, how many, how many days and it's. I think it's startling to look at when you think about it's not that long. And then it's even more startling the older you get and you type in like, well, what's the average age? If? If you were to make it to a good age, it's not a lot of time oh my gosh, I didn't even know they had all this available.
Christopher C.:I'm like, oh my god how many christmases do you think you got left?
Chris:Oh I don't even want to know this thing.
Christopher C.:You said you know, I'm 55, and I've got I'm 55, and if I'm blessed that I get to live until I'm 80. Well, that's you know. It's not many Christmases, it's not many. How many vacations? Right Now, I don't say those things, no-transcript, and all the good that can happen.
Chris:Nice, nicely put. Can you tell us a little bit about the Legacy Fund? What is it? How does it work, what's happening with it?
Christopher C.:Yeah, so the Legacy Fund was set up by Christian prior to.
Chris:Christian's passing. Okay, this opens a new light, yeah.
Christopher C.:Yeah. So Christian really did a lot of prior to his death. He had these deep conversations and Christian said Dad, what do you think we can do after I'm gone to help others? What can I continue to do here on this earth? And, of course, as a dad, I'm like Christian you've done enough.
Chris:I know right, you're like okay, this is yeah, exactly.
Christopher C.:But he's like no, he was insisting, he's like Dad, I want to be able to help. So the thing was, the Legacy Fund is built around Christian's mission. It was to help those who are in need, children who are in need. He wanted to give back to the arts as well. He loved animals, so we give in that fashion. So the fund is set up to provide scholarships we work with. We recently did an after-school program with the charter school Propel Charter School District here in Pittsburgh. That's inner-city kids who are struggling and are from broken homes, children who are homeless. It's startling to see what is actually happening, and so we try to provide, of course, some financial benefits from the foundation. We try to support any after-school programs to bring light to the message of what's good about today. At the heart of everything we do is what's good about today, and we have now started to implement this program into school districts. We're seeing it spread. It's spreading where children can come in and there's big whiteboards that says what's good about today. Children write what's good about today.
Chris:Oh, I love it.
Christopher C.:Yes, and at the end of the day they can erase it. Next day they start over. Now what it is. It gives kids hope. It gets kids to understand what's good about today, but it also gives parents an understanding how this child is feeling, yes, and where they're at. Yes, right, because if they're having a bad day and they can't write anything, then you can identify areas of need. And so, yeah, the foundation is set up to support those kind of opportunities and we continue to do it.
Christopher C.:We continue to work through the church. We're part of something called St Stanislaus. It's a Catholic church, one of the oldest Polish churches here in Pittsburgh. We gave back. One of the things Christian wanted to do was give back to that church and in the heart of the city of Pittsburgh, in Smallman Street, which is one of the busiest areas of Pittsburgh, where there's shops and booming it's a very urban landscape there's this beautiful Polish church. It's huge, but right next to it is six boulders and water fountains and a plaque of Christian his face and it says what's good about today, what's good about today?
Christopher C.:And it talks about Christian's message. And there must be thousands of people pass by there a day, that sit, they pray. There's a rock to rest your weary knees when you're in trouble. And Christian has a message that talks about Christian. But it also says a quote from Christian, which is be kind to everyone, because you never know what they're going through, and so it's not an over. You know Christian was very spiritual. You know, obviously we're Christians.
Chris:And you all were going to church as well, still, as you did when you were kids. Is this correct, of course? Okay.
Christopher C.:Yeah, of course, yeah, yeah so. But Christian loved all religions. He loved it because he felt like they were all intertwined with one another. He felt like he could. You know, there's a whole chapter on Christian's towel and it talks about not swimming against the river and learning how to flow with the river. Wow, and so I think, again, lots of messaging in here to help those you know navigate this turbulent world that we live in, especially today for all of us.
Chris:Christian had been here before. This is like wow, wow, you know what I mean. And there's some pretty impressive young teenage you know what I mean Like young teens that are doing all kinds of things. But this is a little exceptional. I have to say for myself that you know, there's just peace and love. That you know. I'm sure as a kid there must have been the other coming in, but most of the kids aren't thinking selfishly. His ego is not in play by how you speak, you know, and that's unusual for a young person. You know they're all about the ego and filling it up and understanding it. So, wow, I'm marveled over here by this, you know, and yeah, he didn't do that yeah.
Chris:And this is it. And you know everybody, there's a reason for everything, regardless of what we know or not, and he came here and has done a purpose like huge, like wow. You know that. You know, even though he is not here, what his message is is still rocking on and people are really being moved by this. So you know, and how it's affected you as the parents is huge. You know it didn't have to be this way, right, it didn't have to be that you guys have rallied behind this and so I'm really just marveled. This is something. How do people, if they want to donate to this, if they want to be a part of this, how does that work for the stranger, for the person who feels empowered by listening to this? Is there a way that people can be involved? Who is a stranger Is there? How does that work?
Christopher C.:Absolutely Well. First and foremost, I tell you there's a way to be involved in your own life, right?
Chris:Yes.
Christopher C.:It's just to be more loving, caring, remind people what's good about?
Christopher C.:today. The most important thing to me is about the spreading of love and spreading that message of what's good about today. If one person is out there and takes this message what's good about today? And goes to another person and says I want to tell you a story and I want you to remind you about what's good about today, and they'll go what do you mean? What's good about today? Let me explain why. You can find beauty in the day. To me that's the most important thing. So, secondarily, of course, they can get involved. They can go to do. You can type in the Google Christian Cochran and you will find all kinds of information on Christian Right. There is a website dedicated to Christian Christian Cochran dot org. There it tells all the stories. There's way I could be on here for you know for two days for all the inspirational stories that have flowed into our home journals people that met Christian for five minutes to change their lives, where he saved lives.
Christopher C.:There are things that I didn't even know about that came to light, but definitely christiancochranorg you can learn about there. You can also find the Legacy Fund and you can get connected through there to the Legacy Fund, where we do take donations for sure, ever small. It doesn't matter If not, don't worry about that, that's not always the most important thing, but really taking the message. And then myself, it's chriscochranspeakscom where I speak. I do go to events and tell the story and if people need that or just want to reach out and need someone to talk to, Sorry, I've just jumped all around.
Chris:I was so moved at that moment. I was like, how do we you like it? It's OK about the information, yeah, we're going to, but yes, this. I was really just so moved, like how do we get involved in this? So, thank you for that jump in. I want to change a little bit and I want to talk about just doing the work. I want to know how do you help people identify and break through self-limiting beliefs?
Chris:Explain, when you say self-limiting beliefs I guess maybe what people feel that they are not, maybe that they might not be good enough, or maybe that they don't have the skill to or the potential to, um, but just believing that they don't have it you're right.
Christopher C.:Okay, I got you so well. I encourage people first recognize the belief that holds them back right.
Christopher C.:By reflecting on their fears and their past experiences. Then I try to help them reframe these beliefs into opportunities for growth. Right, this was huge part of Christian's journey. Right, he refused to let his illness define him and that mindset allowed him to live with joy and purpose until the very end. So helping others shift their perspective is key, honestly, to breaking through those limitations as you described. You've got to be able to reflect on them. You've got to be able to look at them. You've got to look at your past experience. You've got to be able to explore that. You've got to be able to talk about it.
Chris:And that's coming with trust and understanding. Yes, vulnerability, this is it, you're right.
Christopher C.:Credible vulnerability Right and and be authentic to yourself Right. There are so many people in this world we meet I'm sure you've met them Then they're and they are hiding behind something and thinking about break free of those things. The more that we're vulnerable, the more that we connect with others. It frees us of those limiting type of, allows us to break through Really. It can be a big breakthrough moment.
Chris:Tell us about the mindset. How is that important in professional and personal success?
Christopher C.:Well, mindset is everything right Shapes how we respond to our challenges and our opportunities. Really a positive, growth-oriented mindset. It enables us to find solutions. It keeps us to stay motivated and view setbacks as stepping stones, right. Nothing that people don't already know, but I've learned that through the journey, and again I always reference Christian's journey because it's my, it's my purposely driven book because I refer to everything. I'm just telling the story that even in the face of unimaginable adversity, your mindset can help you find peace. It can help you find purpose and really the strength to move forward. So, mindset, you know you can get down fast and listen.
Christopher C.:I'm not going to sit here and tell you that after Christian's diagnosis my mindset was good. My mindset was terrible, horrible. Thank you for your honesty. I was down. I was out. For the first year and a half I was a zombie. I couldn't get out of bed. My first Christmas I drank myself to drunkenness. To pass out, I took pills. I did things that I'm not proud of, but I didn't.
Christopher C.:Christian was the center of our family. I wasn't the center, my wife's not the center. He was the center of the family. He touched all of us and gave us hope. And when that gets ripped out of you, that that beautiful life of what he was doing on the earth? Because you asked those questions, right? Why would you take him? Like there's there's plenty of evil people out there, right? Why this guy? This is the guy who's going to change and make differences in the world. He's going to bring hope and strength to all, so many. So I think that that why, right, which I'm past it takes you to your knees, it takes you down, and so you know, having the, the, the, the mindset to, to move forward, put your, you know, one foot in front of the other. Those are all cliches, but it's true and you know it's a day at a time.
Chris:It's a day at a time, right, you can't like, you just have to take it a day at a time. You know you can't be trying to feel like what's going to happen this moment. You just have to be in the moment for the grieving process of any situation of this magnitude. You know, where there's no rule book, there's no. This is how it's supposed to go. So you know. But you, your wife was there with you through all of this.
Christopher C.:Correct, it was the both of you together?
Christopher C.:Yes, but you know, hey, statistically, yeah, statistically, families fall apart. You know when these happen. Right, the percentages are off the chart. Because the problem is is people cannot understand the other person's grief, right? I'm going through my own set of grief. I've lost my son. She's lost her firstborn child. She's going through a different set of grief. My two siblings are going through grief and for most people that's a very difficult thing to navigate. Yeah, we did navigate it. It was, you know. We together went to therapy.
Chris:We did a therapy.
Christopher C.:I didn't stay with therapy because I didn't. It wasn't for me. It's not. It's good for lots of people, but for me um did it help your wife yes, yeah, it helped her, sure, sure. I mean it doesn't resolve the problem, see, I mean the problem is the mindset, right, but it's at the end of the day, it is the mindset. You're right my son is still. My son is still dead exactly this is it.
Chris:It, exactly this is it.
Christopher C.:It's not like normal life problems we all have. You know I'm late on a bill. I didn't get into the right school, I mean you name the problem, yeah.
Christopher C.:But they're all solvable problems. They're all problems we can solve. I can't solve the death of my child. He's gone. I can't solve the death of my child, he's gone, I can't bring him back. So I think that's just something we have to cathartically work through. And you talked about, you know, day by day. To me it was a minute by minute and we broke it down by minute by minute to healing and then it became, you know, hour by hour. Then let's get through this week and let's get through this month, let's get through the first birthday, the first Christmas, the first, now it's the second Christmas, third Christmas. It's tough.
Chris:Are there other children that you have? Was he the only child?
Christopher C.:No, no, he has a younger sister, Kate. She's 15 months younger than him. They were best friends. They went to the same college as well. She graduated from the same school. She followed him because she loved him so much and he was so good. And then I have a younger son, nicholas. He's um he's four years younger than he goes the exact same university to studies the same things that christian did at the honors college and he was.
Chris:He knew christian as well, or he was a baby or no no, no, no, he was a teenager so I think in many ways christian.
Christopher C.:Yeah, so he he would be. I think when christian got this right he was um right.
Chris:He's 22 nick was um 17 18 oh, okay, he's okay, okay, I got it, got it, got it yeah, and it was tough because he was home during covid.
Christopher C.:So my son. He witnessed everything right and my son's in the house with us. It's slow, you know, going through every procedure, everything slowly dying. He was there when surrounded my son when he passed away, took his last breath. So all of this is very traumatic. All this is very difficult.
Chris:So the whole family is involved. Yeah, yeah, Okay. How are the kids affected by this and their grieving? You know you as adults, with your wife, and you know it's a bit different that we can handle things in a different way. But how are the kids now? Are they in the same feeling of empowerment to help others as you are as well?
Christopher C.:Well, it's a little different. I think that, again, I think siblings are going to grieve differently than parents. I think my younger that he saw there's a lot that he went through. I think he chooses to focus on the positive right and you know it's school, it's his studies, it's being around his family. As a matter of fact, I heard him come home just moments ago from college. You know, he's only an hour and 15 minutes away, so he'll drive home and spend a night with us. He just loves to be with us and be home. Right, we're close, he's in a fraternity, so he found brothers there. You know, I think he seeks it that way.
Christopher C.:My daughter's married. She's married to a Naval officer who serves overseas on the USS Cole right now in the Middle East. She's she's a toughie, so she navigates this a little differently. She can openly talk about it. We can have conversations, you know, and listen to music that Christian loved, and so, yeah, we joke about Christian's jokes, we remark on all the beauty he brings. So, you know, we talk about it. But it's you listen, it's still fresh. It's only been three years, right, it's this past September 1st, so it's still. It's still a fresh part of our lives and not you know. Oh, my gosh, you know it's still there, oh my gosh.
Chris:Of course it's still fresh, of course. And their kids? The imprint on a child is so different for us. You know it's different, you know and granted, no parent should bury their child, so ideally we can't express to know what you're feeling either as well. It's just like you say, a step by step that's happening and the book is from your perspective, or is it from the family's perspective, you and your wife's perspective? Where does it really focus in coming from?
Christopher C.:Well, I'm telling the story. It comes from me but, it implements. My wife does speak in the book too, right?
Christopher C.:there's there's whole sections where, from a mother's perspective, a mother's view, uh, there's a perspective from christian's girlfriend, rachel, wow, who is right now he's in a relationship okay, yeah, I met her overseas in pra study abroad program and they fell in love and stayed in love and she is a lawyer in Philadelphia and she went to law school and she was inspired by Christian. He pushed her to do that and yet she still comes and visits us. She flies on planes. She was here about a month ago. She'll stay with us for five days. She just sacks out in her living room like she always used to she like I'm back, y'all hey yeah, yeah, we talk all the time and so, yeah, it's um.
Christopher C.:Yeah, I think I answered your question yeah, yeah, no, you did.
Chris:You did, thank you. I want to ask working with different organizations and working with personal people, how do you stay motivated to continuing empowering others? I know you spoke about your son's message, but you're a human person.
Christopher C.:So is there something else that you do personally to keep up with and I'm assuming that this works with your state of mind your mental health as well? Is there something that you do a routine? I love? That myself with people who uplift me, surround myself with strong support system and regularly engage in meaningful conversations with others, which allows me to continually empower, inspire those, and I think the most rewarding part is witnessing transformation right when the individuals or teams realize their, their own strength and begin to approach life and work with a new mindset.
Chris:It's a it's powerful right yeah, no, it, no, it's true, you're right.
Christopher C.:Yeah, so helping them break through, as you mentioned, their self-limiting beliefs, step into their potential. Their potential brings me joy because I know it creates ripple effects, just as Christian's message continues to do the same.
Chris:Nice. What qualities do you believe are essential for someone to be a more effective and empowering leader?
Christopher C.:Wow, sorry.
Chris:You, like? Chris is mourning here, all right. Like you're doing so fantastic. We're doing so grand, you're doing so grand. Take your time.
Christopher C.:Take your time. No, no problem. Yeah, I think you know qualities that um and this is your opinion.
Chris:This is your totally your opinion about what you think, so there's no wrong answer.
Christopher C.:Yeah, uh, I I think the qualities that, uh, that are out there is just those who have um love in their heart.
Chris:Love.
Christopher C.:Okay, you know a strong, yeah, love, kindness, uh, all those, those, if you want to call them cliche type of words that we hear. Listen, I think that true love and I always refer to it as agape love- yes, agape.
Christopher C.:Yeah, right, so it's really that's important that you have that. But I would go really to the three things I talk about when I do conversations and I talk to people, and there are really three important things, three takeaways, if you want to call them. I think the power of perspective is incredibly important, because you have to ask yourself every day about these, what's good about today, and focus on that. I think that number two is resilience in daily choices. Right, we make daily choices.
Chris:I think that Can you give an example of that for the listeners? What is that?
Christopher C.:I know what it means, but, yes, Sure. So I always use Christian as my example, right so, watching my son endure these endless treatments, these therapies, these surgeries, I realized something profound Resilience isn't a trait Okay, Hear this. Resiliency is not a trait, it's a decision. Okay, Christian made that decision every day. And resilience doesn't always mean fighting or overcoming. Sometimes resilience means acceptance, accepting what we cannot change, but still. I mean still showing up with courage. And I think in our lives we face challenges, disappointments and heartbreaks. But what defines us is our ability to stand back up, keep moving forward, even when the path is unclear. So you know, we must learn to find strength in the very act of continuing the face of each day with a sense of purpose.
Christopher C.:So I think resilience isn't about, isn't about falling down, it's about choosing to rise every time. Wow.
Chris:Like we just be like fireworks. Fireworks and the band hitting up, play it now.
Christopher C.:I love it and I think. Third is legacy, and I think legacy can be built on small moments.
Chris:Can you explain that one as well? Thank you.
Christopher C.:Yeah, and what we leave behind isn't built on grand gestures, but it's in small, meaningful moments that we create every day. And so you know, legacy's not measured in years, it's measured in moments.
Chris:I've never heard that before. That's what we do today. Oh, I've never heard that before. That's nice.
Christopher C.:Well, I didn't steal it from anybody.
Chris:Okay, it's patented. It's patented.
Christopher C.:There you go, you got it, it's yours yeah no, I will totally give you the credit.
Chris:I will say someone said you know, but yeah, that's great. I mean ideally, when you think of something with long, something long, so I never thought about it in something short, you know. So what a great way to see, like there's a different perspective. There we go, you know, nice, absolutely, oh, so great, so great. I like to ask all my guests this final question is your glass half empty or half full?
Christopher C.:my glass is half full, always I love it.
Chris:I love it, yeah, absolutely. Well, you know some people have different feelings about it, right? But yeah, it's always a great question, you got people to say the glass is half empty I've had people say that it's overflowing, that it is under full because it needs more room to fill it up. Like, yeah, people have their own concept about it, so it's always great to hear a variety of answers for this question. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely variety. Wow, yes, for sure. I want to ask you do you have any final thoughts for our listeners?
Christopher C.:Sure, I guess what I'd leave everyone is is life. You know, life is going to hand us challenges, it's going to bring us to our knees and sometimes we won't know how to move forward. But if there's one thing Christian taught me, is that there's always something good about today. It might be small, it might be hidden, but it's there. And when you choose to focus on that, when we embrace resilience and when we commit to creating a legacy and build on love, kindness and courage, we don't just survive. I think we thrive. And so today, I'd leave you with this what's good about today, and how will you let that guide you forward? I love that.
Chris:And you know that message held totally Today means that we are present, we are in the now. We're not talking about tomorrow, we're not talking about the past of yesterday. I love it. It's a present statement. It puts you into the now. Where are you? Right, right here, and I love that. I love that, oh, so fantastic. Can you please tell everyone how they can reach you if they want to find out a little bit more about you?
Christopher C.:chriscochranspeakscom. If you want to learn a lot more about the foundation, the works that we're doing, the events that we hold, what we're giving back, that's christiancochranorg. You can always just type in Christian Cochran into Google and find it. If you'd love to pick up my book, that'd be awesome and leave a review. I love that too. You can find the book on Amazon. You can find the book in Barnes Noble. You can find it globally right now, right, so it's on global distribution. It came out August 22nd Not even a month ago.
Chris:She's fresh. She's fresh baby, she's fresh.
Christopher C.:Yeah, I encourage anyone who is looking for some positive and love and understanding pick up the book. I think it's really important, I think you'll be inspired and I hope they do that.
Chris:Yes, All of this information will be listed under the podcast information so they'll be able to find it. If they're not right trying to write everything down and you know people are not trying to write things down so it will be there listed for them to find easily. For that, Did you ever think you'd be an author?
Christopher C.:No, I don't want to be an author. To be honest with you, I never Well it's too late.
Chris:Somebody has to tell the story right, Come on now. Somebody has to be the storyteller.
Christopher C.:I guess I tell that from the perspective of pre-cancer guy Like I that my intentions were never to do that was to just, uh, you know, work my businesses which I still continue to do grow through that and be with my children. But uh, you know, I didn't think I had anything to offer even prior to this. It's just, we all have something to offer. I just didn't think that was. This is not the path I wanted to go in terms of that. But it is important to get the story out. It it's Christian's guide, it's inspired by Christian and that that was everything. I you know many parents who lose children. The scariest part for them is I don't want my child to ever be forgotten. So I don't want him ever to be forgotten. It's my job to make sure you get to know my son and I think by the end of the book, when you read this book, you will know my son better than you thought you ever knew anyone. So you will think he's your friend too.
Chris:Oh, I love that. Wow, what a powerful, powerful story. What a powerful story, so awesome and so great for you as parents, like my gosh, you guys get a double Because there's no you know there's no rule book on this and you have to put the pieces together, and so, yeah, and for your wife as well. You tell her. I said like, yeah, great, so, super, so super. And for the rest of the family, yeah, I'm sure. Look, she's gotta be. Y'all been together too long, y'all got together too long for sure, no one else could stand us.
Christopher C.:That's probably why.
Chris:That's why that's so funny. That's so funny. I'm sure her face would probably just be like yeah, whatever.
Christopher C.:She's much better than me. She's a very wonderful human being.
Chris:Oh, I love that. I love that. Thank you so much for your time and energy today and thank you for being a guest here on glass half full. All the information and the stories really touched my heart as well and, yes, my thought process is what is good about today, so I'm going to be thinking in my head as well for moving it forward and pay it forward as what I can do as well. For that, thank you so much for the chat today.
Christopher C.:Thank you, Chris. It was a pleasure to be here. Thank you so much.
Chris:The pleasure is all mine. You have a wonderful morning. We'll talk to you real soon.
Christopher C.:Thank you.
Chris:Thank you. Hello, listeners of Glass Half Full, thank you for tuning in to another inspiring episode of our podcast. I'm your host, chris Levins, and I want to express my gratitude to each and every one of you for being a part of our supportive community. Remember, glass Half Full is not just a podcast. It's a safe platform for everyone to share their life experiences. Your stories and voice matter, and we appreciate you for being here with us. If you enjoyed today's episode and want to stay updated with our future content, please subscribe, follow and rate our podcast on Apple Music, spotify and YouTube. Your support means the world to us and it helps us reach even more listeners who can benefit from these valuable life experiences. As we wrap up this episode, always keep in mind you are blessed, no matter the challenges you face. There's a reservoir of strength within you. Until next time, stay positive and remember the glass is always half full, see ya.