Glass Half Full
Glass Half Full
Tara Halliday's Guide: Conquering Imposter Syndrome, Embracing Unconditional Worth, and Fostering Leadership Growth
This week on "Glass Half Full" Chris talks with Dr. Tara Halliday.
Have you ever been plagued by that nagging doubt that you're just not as competent as people think? You're not alone. Join me for an intimate conversation with Tara Halliday, the exceptional imposter syndrome coach who transitioned from engineering to guiding high achievers out of the shadows of self-doubt. Tara's insights unwrap the layers of imposter syndrome, that deceptive voice that can echo in the minds of even the most successful individuals, as seen in the case of Meryl Streep. Together, we explore the complex journey from early influences to personal leadership, tackling the vital question: how do we reconcile our achievements with the way we see ourselves?
As someone who's grappled with leadership challenges, from my days as a Girl Guide patrol leader to the throes of adulthood, I've been through the gauntlet of self-questioning. Tara and I discuss strategies to calm the nervous system and reframe the way we compare ourselves to others, shifting the focus from differences to similarities. This chapter of our lives is about breaking free from the cycle of imposter syndrome and cultivating a healthier, more assured approach to both personal development and leadership.
The journey doesn't end there. Tara introduces us to the life-altering concept of unconditional worth, a beacon of hope for those lost in the sea of conditional self-worth. We share stories of transformation, celebrate the successes of those who've eschewed burnout for joy in their careers, and discuss the societal ripple effects of embracing our inherent value. By sowing seeds of self-inquiry and empowerment, this episode is an open invitation to embark on your own path to breakthroughs and growth, with the wisdom of Tara Halliday lighting the way.
Website: https://www.outsmartimpostersyndrome.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tara-halliday-phd/
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@OutsmartImposterSyndrome
Free quiz: https://bit.ly/ImpostorQuiz
Online course: https://bit.ly/OutsmartIS
Amazon #1 best-selling books by Tara
‘Outsmart Imposter Syndrome’ (2023)
‘Unmasking: The Coaches Guide to Imposter Syndrome’ (2018)
Good morning, good afternoon and good evening wherever you are in the world, and welcome to another episode of Glass Half Full, a podcast and a safe platform where we talk with a variety of teachers, entrepreneurs, spiritualists, uplifters, givers, shakers and serenaders. Everyone has a lesson to learn and a lesson to share. Let's use our life experiences to enrich someone's heart, mind, spirit and soul. Through sharing our experiences, we can be a learning inspiration for one another. I'm your host, chris Levins. Let's welcome today's guest. Today's guest is Tara Halliday.
Chris:Tara Halliday is a world-class imposter syndrome coach. She guides high-achieving leaders to eliminate imposter syndrome and develop energy, focus, calm, resilience and effortless confidence. Tara brings a practical and scientific approach to helping high performers reach their highest potential. She has over 20 years experience as a qualified holistic therapist. She is a certified coach and certified neurofeedback trainer and has a PhD in engineering. Wow. She is the author of Amazon's number one bestsellers Unmasking the Coach's Guide to Imposter Syndrome 2018, and Outsmart Imposter Syndrome 2023. Her mission and passion are to free high achievers and leaders from unnecessary internal suffering so they can live happy, meaningful and successful lives. Let's welcome Tara Halliday. Good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning. Thank you for being a guest here on Glass Half Full. We are so happy to have you today.
Tara:I'm very happy to be here. Thank you, Chris.
Chris:Yes, you're very welcome. Can you tell everyone where you are in the world and what time it is, please?
Tara:It is about 9.30 in the morning and I am in Wales, in the UK.
Chris:Excellent. How's that weather today?
Tara:in the UK. Excellent, how's that weather? Today it's actually rainy, which is such a shame, because it's such a cliche that it's always raining here but happens to be raining today.
Chris:Well, you know, we need the rain to help spring the beautiful flowers and trees and plants. So it's definitely an important part.
Tara:Yeah, it is beautiful here.
Chris:Yes, I love it. Okay, we're going to jump right on in. I like to ask all my guests this first question. I believe that our lives are in spiritual design. Can you share your life layout or blueprint with everyone how you grew up, where your family lifestyle?
Tara:Yeah, how you grew up, where your family lifestyle, yeah. So I grew up in England and spent two years at a college in Canada and then I jumped into studying engineering at university. And I was studying engineering because my family didn't want me to study psychology, which is what I really wanted to do. So I had a PhD in engineering and a 10-year career in engineering before I finally managed to escape and go back to and train as a holistic therapist and that was very much guided as far as I'm concerned.
Tara:It was very much presented to me as an opportunity that I could not turn down and I was delighted to do so. And so I worked as a holistic therapist for about 15 years and I found that, you know, many people were helped and went away, you know, to lead happier lives. But some people kept coming back and that's not what's supposed to happen. It's not supposed to be a crutch for the rest of your life. You know, it's a temporary help. And so I started digging into why people weren't responding, and it came down to the issue of beliefs. Certain beliefs were keeping them stuck.
Tara:So then I decided I wanted to go into helping people pass these beliefs. And then another guided moment I'm sure I got led to a particular, quite an obscure kind of belief work around conditional worth, which I can talk more about in a bit, but anyway, so this work that I was doing in conditional worth was amazing, transformational, fantastic. And then I was working as a coach in that area and one of my clients asked me is this imposter syndrome? And that was another turning point for me because I said, well, let me check. And then I had this massive realization, my big light bulb moment, that the unconditional worth, the symptoms of unconditional sorry symptoms of conditional worth and the symptoms of imposter syndrome are the same and what I was looking at with this deep belief of conditional worth was the root cause of imposter syndrome. And that changed everything and that's how I got into doing the work that I do in imposter syndrome.
Chris:Wow, wow. Let me ask you what is imposter syndrome? Can you break it down for us, that's a pretty good question Before we get too deep, right Before we start let's define that For the listeners.
Tara:Yes, so imposter syndrome is the secret feeling of being a fraud when you're not a fraud, and the fear of being found out. It's self-doubt. It's not connecting with your achievements, with feeling that, no matter how good you get, you have this persistent feeling that you're still not quite good enough. An example would be Meryl Streep, who has won more acting awards than anyone on the planet.
Chris:Yes, she's amazing.
Tara:She's fantastic, yes, and yet at the beginning, when she's filming the start of each movie, she has this imposter syndrome feeling. Why would anyone want to come and see me?
Chris:Wow, really Is this true?
Tara:It's true, oh yeah.
Chris:I'm like what.
Tara:It's all true here. No, no likes, and. And so you know, one of the myths about imposter syndrome is it's something when you're just starting out, it's a beginner thing, it's the, it's the discomfort of, you know, not being an expert, of learning something new. But it's absolutely not. And it affects people right at the, at the very top of their game, who everyone around them is saying well, how amazing, how successful, how great. You must feel that they've got this little voice inside going yeah, but yeah, it's, it's I'm, I'm not, I'm, I'm a fake. Even though they're not a fake, they don't feel like they're not good enough, that they're somehow underperforming.
Chris:Wow. So what is the difference between just normal self-doubt and the imposter syndrome?
Tara:So self-doubts are a vague word and there's a lot of things in our language that are vague and they actually often point us to areas where we have some beliefs or undefined things. So self-doubt can be on one level. Self-reflection, right, you know? Oh, I just did this project. I wonder if I could have done it differently. You know, uh, I've got some new feedback. What if I would, if I did things a different way? Um, it's, did I say that? Right? Did you know? Did I heard that people's feeling, the person's feelings, when I said that you know, or maybe I'll, I'll try to that differently. That's just self-reflection and here and there there's no self-judgment. Right, it's weighing up of information, it's contemplating it, it's maybe deciding to do things differently in the future. Self-doubt is that when you turn it in on yourself, it's like an internal blame. It goes from this went wrong to there's something wrong with me and that you know. It's a slide down to that. It's who am I to be doing this? I don't deserve this.
Chris:Oh, this is the imposter. The difference between the imposter syndrome, yeah, and that's the imposter syndrome.
Tara:Self-doubt, yeah, and so you know. Some people worry that if they get rid of imposter syndrome self-doubt, yeah, and so you know. Some people worry that if they get rid of imposter syndrome then they'll start to be arrogant, you know, but it's not because they'll keep that self-reflection. They just won't have this highly critical self-judgment going on all the time.
Chris:Wow, this is a lot, do you feel? Is this something that you have ever dealt with in your personal life?
Tara:Yes, in fact, I have my PhD because of imposter syndrome. So I graduated as a fresh engineer and applied to a large global company, global Electric, to be a graduate trainee, and so they sent me through all these tests and interviews and they came back and they said we don't want to offer you a graduate trainee position. We've done your psychometric, psychometric tests and, um, your profile is quite unusual and we tend to see it in our top leaders. So, um, we'd like to put you on a fast track management trainee position. And I said, oh no, because to my mind, that was an invitation to fail. That was people having massively high expectations of me that I did not feel that I had this self-doubt I did not feel I would be able to match. I thought at the time that, as many people did, that leadership was a talent rather than a skill.
Chris:And.
Tara:I didn't think I had that talent, and so what I did is I said no to that wonderful opportunity and I went back to university. In fact, a friend of mine who I'd been in college with I went back to university. In fact, a friend of mine who I'd been in college with. He was just starting a PhD and I thought, well, if he can do one, so can I. So you know, I could try that, but just, there are certain things, and for me it was that leadership that I felt there's no way I would be able to do so yeah, Did you ever have a bad experience that put you in that thought of mine?
Chris:Is there something that happened to make you feel like hmm, you know, I've had this situation in my past before, so that's what preps me for not being in it or was there no situation ever?
Tara:That's a good point. When I was 13 or so, I was in the Girl Guides and I was asked to be a patrol leader, which is to be the leader of a small group of six girls in the larger group of the girl guide group that we had, and the only examples of leadership that I had was from my with me, um, and so I I bounced between trying to be everybody's friend, which is, you know, which was my normal way of operating, and then flipping to this command and control crawl style, and no, there was no example for me of how to lead in a different way. And, um, and so, as far as I can, and I felt bossy, I felt unkind and I hated it, and so that was my idea that that the trick, that I'm not a good leader. So you see, it went from here's something I've done to here's something about me. I'm inherently not a good leader. So if I did take up General Electric's wonderful opportunity, then I would have crashed and burned.
Tara:That was in my head Now. This was all unconscious At the time. I just said to myself oh, management, that sounds boring. And you know, I had no idea what was going on under the surface. But with imposter syndrome. People may have examples like that or they may not, so it's not always the case.
Chris:Okay, case by case. Definitely, do you have any siblings?
Tara:I do.
Chris:I have an older sister and a younger brother okay, so there was a more people in your house and growing up as well, and how are they with um, your understanding and your knowledge of this? Has this, uh, what you've learned? Have you been able to share it with your family? How have they been, um? How have they received the information? Is it something that they are aware of as well?
Tara:um, I think they're less interested. I think they see, I see what I do is, you know, some professional coaching stuff, and that's really not what they're particularly interested in oh, okay, all, okay, all right, I don't have a cheerleading team behind me.
Chris:Okay, okay. I was like oh, it's real interesting, definitely Okay. So I wanted to move a little bit and I want to talk about how can you manage this? What is a way if you feel that this is something that people are dealing with, this? What is a way if you feel that this is something that people are dealing with? Do you have any tips that you can give for ways to manage something like this, or ways that you recommend that people should go and get help?
Tara:Yeah.
Tara:So there are two things you can do with imposter syndrome. You can manage the symptoms, which is what you're asking me there, or you can address the root cause and then, when you change what's driving it, then the imposter syndrome goes away. So you can manage it. You have to know what this well before you start managing it. You have to define it for yourself, because everybody's experience of imposter syndrome is unique to them. So there are three types of symptoms.
Tara:There's the imposter syndrome thinking right, it's that self-doubt, that self-criticism, feeling you're not quite good enough, comparing yourself to others, thinking that you just got here by luck. And what that kind of thinking does is it triggers your body's nervous system, it puts you into a stress state. So people go into a fight or flight or freeze state, which is a stress response. It disturbs sleep, it creates anxiety and overwhelm and tension. It disturbs sleep, it creates anxiety and overwhelm and tension. And so some people just recognize that they're just always tense, always stressed, and then, because we're in that level of physical and mental turmoil, if you like, then people try and cope with it in different ways and there are very particular behaviors characteristic of imposter syndrome. So there might be procrastination, perfectionism, over-preparing, comparing yourself, avoiding opportunities which is what I did Not speaking up enough, not sharing enough of your ideas and sometimes feeling that you don't have enough. Some people feel they don't have enough qualifications. They feel if they just get one more qualification then they'll start to feel good about themselves, right, and then, of course, they never do. And then so all of these coping behaviors, they kind of they. They take time, that and energy, they drag you down, they hold you back. So then, because they're not very helpful, people then judge themselves for it and they're saying, oh well, you know, it must be me, and that cycles around.
Tara:Then to the imposter syndrome thoughts, so the symptoms of this, this continuous cycle going round and round. So if we're going to manage the symptoms, you have to address all three, right, because if you try and address just one, then the other two will kind of just drive past it, right, and it won't break that cycle. Um, so yeah, so there's, in terms of managing it, managing all three, the easiest one is to get yourself as calm as you possibly can. You know, work on, if you notice yourself trick, your nervous system is triggered. Get yourself as calm as you can for the behaviors you know, part of them are habit and part of them are driven by imposter syndrome.
Tara:So what you can do is recognize that these behaviors, if you're procrastinating yet again, rather than beating yourself up and say, oh no I'm, you know what a terrible person I am or why can't I do this, and getting frustrated, acknowledge it, as this is a coping mechanism for that stress and it doesn't make you a bad person and you, you kind of break that judgment loop and then, in terms of the imposter syndrome, thinking um, one of the things you can do is, if you're comparing yourself to other people, the natural way we do it is to look for differences. So start comparing yourself to other people. The natural way we do it is to look for differences. So start comparing yourself and look for similarities.
Tara:And the more similarities you can find between you and the people that you're comparing yourself to, the more you'll feel like them, the more you'll feel like you belong, the less isolated you're going to feel. And that's you know. Because that's a big part of imposter syndrome feeling that everybody else is doing so fine and it's just me. And the reality is over 70% of people experience imposter syndrome at some point in their lives. So it's a lot of people. They just don't talk about it. If nobody talks about it, everyone thinks it's just them and everybody's stuck.
Chris:So yeah, into that as well. Also, I'm wondering with your childhood did you have a religious outlet or any type of? Did your family practice any type of outlet in religion?
Tara:Um, I went to Sunday school as a child, but, no, actually there was quite a vacuum, and it wasn't till I got to university that I then independently um, you know sought out some religious support okay, okay yeah, I got, I got involved then okay, good, good, good, good good.
Chris:um, I find that sometimes with people who are, you know, if they're able to have that support, it helps in a way, just for that bounding of things people think are a little bit strange or a little bit weird. Usually the church family or that type of religious family is always there as a support to be able to help in that way. Thank you for answering that.
Tara:Yeah Well, I found my church family later in life. Oh, I love it yes, and, and, and that, and that is, and that is a wonderful support I agree.
Chris:I agree as well. Just people on the same harmony frequency as we are, so that's awesome yes, can I ask you? I'm sorry, yes, go ahead.
Tara:So I was just gonna say I was a bit of a black sheep in my family, as far as you know what I, what I did and what my thoughts are and beliefs. So it was wonderful to be, you know, embraced with by a, by a faith community oh, oh, I love that.
Chris:And people are waiting to embrace, right, like people are waiting to embrace, you know. Folks feel like, oh, it's just me, I'm like you can get somewhere, like people are waiting to accept you in and feel like we have been waiting for you, you belong with us now, you know, and just take you right on in and just care for you and all your needs, and just they just accept you as who you are. So it's nice to know that you have found that, because it's really important to have, definitely, I love it, I agree.
Chris:I wanted to ask you what strategies do you recommend for recognizing and challenging things associated with the imposter?
Tara:syndrome. Well, first you have to identify that this is imposter syndrome. I mentioned that, you know, some people think it's, you know, being a beginner, or it's low self-esteem, which it is neither so is there a definitive way to know. Yeah, there's a, there's a, there's a quiz, a test that you can do 20 questions, and it gives you a score.
Tara:And if you get over 62 percent, as the researchers have found, then, um then, imposter syndrome is having a a significant impact in your life and you know, it would, it would do you good to do something about it, because the thing about imposter syndrome is that it's it's completely unnecessary suffering, right, all of this stress, there is a solution. I haven't I haven't gone into you know the root cause and of it yet, but there is a solution to it and and just even knowing that there is a solution to it can be helpful, right, because it takes away that feeling of this is my personality, this is my personal weakness or flaw true and feeling trapped yes, like you know, there's no way out, hopelessly yes.
Chris:Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. That starts the rabbit hole. Definitely Nobody wants to feel trapped in any form or fashion in life. Right, we want to feel that sense of freedom. You know, we can just expand ourselves definitely.
Tara:Well, feeling trapped, actually, again, you know, coming back to the nervous system, it triggers the nervous system. It's a stressed state, it's a feeling that we're we're, we're out of control and we're not safe. That's fundamentally what it is that makes sense.
Chris:That makes sense, that feeling of not being safe, because with that everything else is falling into play about you know nerves and you know feeling unsure and you know feeling unsure and you know fear. So that's it. And once that starts in it's yeah, it's like a snowball effect of what it can catch on to. For sure. So how do you work with your clients? Can you give us what does a session entail? If you can, just to describe what would happen?
Tara:Yeah, so actually I have a, a structured program that I take people through, okay, um, they're the, and what we do is although it's a context is imposter syndrome. The problem that we're solving is the root cause of it, which is this conditional worth belief, which is the idea that our worth as a person depends on what we do. So you do something good, you are a good person. You do something bad, you are a bad person.
Tara:So how we feel about ourselves is on this roller coaster, and a lot of it is out of our control, and that's where they, that's where the suffering, comes in in. Back in the 1950s there was a um, one of the granddaddies of personal psychology, and he was looking for the root cause of human suffering. He's like why, when people have, you know, food, clothing, shelter, jobs, shelter, jobs, safety, why would they still be miserable? And he came down to this idea that our worth as a person is conditional, and he identified it as something that we didn't learn in childhood and very, very, very few people actually learn it in childhood that your worth is unconditional. Right, everyone else learns that your worth is conditional.
Tara:So we have a whole society telling us that our worth as a person depends on what we do, and it makes this feeling of stress and unsafety and never feeling you're good enough, never feeling like you're quite worth it. And so that's what we change in this structured program, and we do it by changing the way that your brain perceives a threat, a very specific threat, the threat to your worth, and that allows then people to change the belief and start to believe that their worth is unconditional. And this is the truth of human nature. When you're a baby, when you're born, you're an absolute miracle.
Tara:You don't have to do anything to be worth loving or cared for, right, you don't have to. You don't have to put any effort into it. You just be and you are, are worth it now. That doesn't change throughout your life. That's the reality that you're.
Tara:You know this human, innate, human worth is constant, but we're operating from an idea that it can go up and down. And the problem with your worth going up and down is that if you're, if you're, if you perceive yourself to being not worthy and this is kind of a deep, primal level if you perceive yourself to be not worthy, it's a threat. So we're getting back to this sense of safety again. It's a threat. If humans have survived in groups, right, we don't do well on our ends. We're a social being. To be shunned and outed from the group can be a threat to our survival. If a baby is not found worthy of being cared for, then it will die right, because it's completely dependent. So we've got this you know, innate, quite primal fear of not being good enough, not being worthy, and that's conditional worth.
Tara:Oh, so the program that I take people through unravels that belief. You know, systematically, step by step, we take away the foundations of it and and we change it so that people then start to feel worthy, and what that happens is a lot of that fear then goes away, so people don't doubt themselves. They forget to doubt themselves. Actually, that's cool, it's amazing. It's amazing and it also allows people to be more present with other people, more compassionate and empathetic with other people, to be more community minded rather than being, you know, fearful and defensive and um and and stressed, so that the change is remarkable and it affects not just how someone thinks about themselves, but how they interact with you know their family in the community around them and that that is huge.
Chris:Right, I mean how interacting, how we act out in the public and interact with people is everything, because you can meet a lot of people and you're like, did you not have any home training? Like, did you not grow up? You know, just in life, when you meet certain people, you're like, where's your manners and where's this? So yeah, this is it. How we act in public is huge and this is what people foster off of.
Tara:We're removing the judgment, we're removing the self-judgment and we get to accepting ourselves and we're removing the judgment of other people. So when we see other people acting in a non-ideal way, right, we can move to forgiveness and compassion for that person rather than judgment and criticism. This is the way we want and that is, and that is absolutely huge. You know. So when you see you know someone getting upset and angry to to, you just automatically think, gosh, they must be having a hard time. I wonder what I can do to help them, rather than they're getting angry at me. Let's you know.
Tara:And and it's going to be a fight because I have to be defensive- right so it's, it's, it's absolutely um amazing the the shift that it creates and it and it's an effortless shift right because you've got that belief that your worth is unconditional, everybody else's worth is unconditional, and it puts you in such a peaceful state that you know people talk about resilience in business and things like that. This is the resilient state where you're not taking other people's actions personally and allows you to be there for them and be a support for them and caring, loving person for them.
Chris:I love that. Yes, yes, ooh, good, good, good, you got the work cut out.
Tara:You're doing it. You're doing it.
Chris:Can you share some success stories of people who've overcome this and?
Tara:you know how they put into the work and what they did to to overcome it. Yeah, so so the the program is the same for everyone.
Tara:Right, we're changing worth from conditional to unconditional worth. The context is their lives. So this is why it's not, you know, something we can do in a group with a thousand people or something like that. It is a one one-to-one um, step by step.
Tara:So some of the experiences um, one of my clients, um, she was, she's a, she's a um on her board, you know, very senior and um, she was great in lots of different situations but she absolutely hated networking. So she hated going to conferences because she felt out of her depth, like she didn't belong, like she was making mistakes and people would judge her for it. And so that's the starting point, the imposter syndrome. So towards the end of the program she'd actually won an award because she was a successful person. So she'd won an award and was invited to this conference to collect her award and and give a speech, and and she walked in in just such a different frame of mind.
Tara:She walked into that feeling that she wasn't out of place, that she could have discussions. So she started, you know, being happily talking to people at the conference, you know on a one-to-one, and then she spotted the organizers of the conference and this is before the award was made and she went up to them and introduced herself and said you know, what you do is is is very, very good, very impactful. It aligns with my values. I'd really like to get involved. So she went from being somebody who avoided these things to somebody who, who was leading them and in helping organize it and plan for it, and and, of course, she collected her award and it was absolutely, you know, she was absolutely fine. So this is where that all of those self-doubts, those nagging voices in her head are just not there, and she was able then to be um present in the moment.
Tara:yes, Exactly yeah, and not hate it. This is it.
Chris:That's the extra icing on the cake, right? And not hate it, and not hate it. Yeah, oh, I love that.
Tara:Yeah, and the examples you know. Some people are on the verge of quitting because that's a common response to imposter syndrome burnout, quitting. So I've been with people on the edge of burnout and quitting and they've decided not to quit but they've also started really enjoying their work rather than being stressed out by it. Some people get put on anti-anxiety medication because the doctors don't know what to do. It's not a medical issue. So I've had people who've come come off their anxiety medication because they no longer need it. Um, people who automatically start mentoring people in their team who previously they thought of, as you know, the problem, right, the disruptor in the team. Then they they find that kindness and compassion and and want to help them and want to help, mentor them rather than want to fire them.
Chris:Well, that's huge, that's a big turnaround. That's a big turnaround for sure. Oh, nice, that's great, that's great. I want to change a little bit and I want to talk about your books. I want to know why did you write them and what is the hope that you want the readers to take away from them. We can talk about them separately, but for each of them, what is it that you want the reader to take away? Why did you?
Tara:write them, thank you. So the first book, which was Unmasking, is a book for coaches and that was the one in which I presented this breakthrough idea that imposter syndrome is driven by conditional worth. That's the root idea in the book. But also I recognize, because at the time I was working with people one-to-one and I recognized, look, this is a big deal, this needs to be shared. I need to have more people helping people with imposter syndrome and that's why I wrote it. So I wrote it for coaches so that they would be able to help other people. So it's a ripple effect, an impact that I wanted. From that what I found for my second book. So my second book I that was when I had actually been led to I didn't mention this and I talked about my history I was was also led, I think, to a particular kind of neurofeedback training, which is where people have electrodes on their heads and they're doing exercises and changing the way their brain efficiency effectively. From that I had another light bulb moment and I could see how we could change the conditional worth belief. So the first book was about helping people. We're talking about the symptoms management. The second book was this breakthrough in understanding that you can get rid of it completely. And that was really exciting for me.
Tara:And it was even more important because in 2020, there was a research paper published. They looked at the last 40 years of the research into imposter syndrome and all the papers published, because it was discovered, identified back in 1978. And so they looked at the 40 years and they were putting the. You know all. What conclusions can we draw from all of this research? And they you know who gets it. When do they get it? Is it the personality?
Tara:The answer is no, but what they also noticed was that there was no published treatment backed up by evidence you know numbers that imposter syndrome could actually be treated oh, wow so I know, I mean absolutely shocking you like this book about everything right yeah, and what they also noticed was that the social media and the magazines were full of advice about what to do with imposter syndrome, but they had no backing. None of the research had actually come up with something. So what I was sitting on was a solution to imposter syndrome that had a very, very consistent, high effectiveness of getting rid of imposter syndrome by addressing the root cause and a systematic way, and I thought, okay, this is. This is too big for me to just keep to myself for my personal practice I need to share this.
Tara:So my second book out, smart imposter syndrome, I lay out the whole of the process that I take people through. So I actually had people tell me don't write this book right, don't share your secrets because they're your commercial secrets. And and my feeling was no, this needs to be open source information.
Tara:This is too big to keep to myself I have something yes, and, and that's that's why the book is is out there, and I'm currently in the process of having a paper reviewed with some of the research, academic research journals. Oh nice To publish the data so that you know. You've got that proof. That's exciting A little early applause on that.
Chris:We hope that goes well. This is good and you know, because of your not feeling greedy about the information, and you know a lot of people are this way that there's information that they could share but they feel like I'm going to keep it to myself and whatever their reasonings for keeping it to themselves or what they hope to get out of keeping it to themselves, and in the end people go lacking. People go there's information that's not said and it's not given out, and so I think that information is information, you know we can share. It makes everybody better and you know, ideally I used to a teacher, which I am as a voice teacher.
Chris:You know there's always different techniques and things that people are learning and I never feel that me sharing my technique, that someone's going to be like, oh well, they're going to be better than me. You know like they're going to be. You know somehow they're going to overtake what I do. You know I'm very confident what I do, that I'm happy to share and you know, with it it's making changes for people and we just push it on. It's like a learning thing. We learn, we put it out, learn something else and you know it's this cycle of education, which I think is really great. So I love to hear that you decided to feel that I'm going to let people know about this, and so thank you for that. And the outsmart imposter syndrome book, for sure. So that was just last year yes, yes, excellent.
Tara:Have you done any?
Chris:ted talks, anything like that I haven't.
Tara:No, we gotta get you out there, we gotta get you out there.
Chris:Yes, because this is something that people just know the header. But there's the header, but they can't really back it up. There's not a lot of information. I was asking friends about it and people were like, oh yeah, I've heard what that means and they're like what does it mean? It was like we know it but no one really knows the definition or anyone who's really kind of dealt with it that maybe publicly has come out with it. So a lot of information is just not known, you know.
Chris:So I love that we can get some real information and some success about the way that you're doing it to bring forth change, Because that's everything right, you know to being able to have the tools in our toolbox to be able to use to help ourselves. When Tara's not there, you know what I mean when we can't have that session and we need some help, that you have given them enough to be able to say, okay, you know what would Tara do? Let me go in here and do this, or what would she suggest that I do in this situation, and then they're able to go and dig into their box and pull out some amazing things to use to help themselves. So, or go into the book under the highlighted areas that they marked.
Tara:And so the other part of it is that you know, if there are coaches and therapists out there and there's a lot who are trying to fix imposter syndrome by, you know, thinking it's a confidence issue or something like that, which it isn't um, they can read my book and they can actually apply it and they can start to use it with their clients. So you know that that, for me, is huge and I'm, you know, I'm happy for them to, you know, have, have a, you know a a healthy, uh, healthy business helping people, because they're reaching more people by doing that and I'm so happy with that.
Chris:I love it.
Tara:I find imposter syndrome really heartbreaking. It's such unnecessary suffering and it causes such disruption in people's lives. It causes people but their divorce attributed to imposter syndrome. They get health problems, chronic health problems related to the stress they have burnout, they quit their careers. It's it's so painful and it is so unnecessary, because there is something you can do and you can get rid of it for good yes, yes, we want to get rid of it for good, right.
Chris:No, no extra hanging around, for sure no.
Tara:Unnecessary suffering no no no, thank you, no, thank you there are things, there are challenges that come in life anyway. Right, there's the pain in life, which is you know the ups and downs that happens, but but you know, to have a suffering when we don't need to, that's just no no, you don't need that.
Chris:No, thank you no, thank you, no, thank you I want to turn a little bit and I want to speak um about you. You're specifically, and I want to ask you how do you maintain good mental health? Is there a daily routine, something that you do that you can share with us?
Tara:um, I have a lot of excuse me, a lot of things I do kind of automatically, I think, if I, paying attention, is the first right noticing when you start to get stressed, um, and then what I do is I, I make sure that I I go out into nature and I focus on the beauty and the joy and the amazing energy that is in the natural world. That is part of you know. It's that connection.
Chris:Yes.
Tara:It's our heritage to life, if you like.
Chris:I love that. Yes, they say when you step out into nature that it just the energy does. It just changes you, and resetting your breathing and just having a walk will be able to really just calm the mind and the physical body as well.
Tara:Yeah, and it does all of that and it also adds this sense of perspective, because you know you can look up at the sky and the stars and it's huge, you know, and so things that seem like they're big problems. You know. You walk through the woods and there are all these trees, and so you know it kind the woods and there are all these trees and, and so you know it kind of puts things into scale. It's like this this is, this is gonna pass. Right, this stress is gonna pass. Let's reset and connect with who, who you are.
Chris:I love that.
Tara:You're right, and you're and and my, and my unconditional worth, of course.
Chris:Of course, of course, I love it. Can I ask you five words that come to mind when you think of yourself?
Tara:That's a very interesting question, you know why? Because I was talking about this conditional worth. Right, the conditional worth is about is kind of mixing up who we are with what we do. So you know, so often people talk about themselves, they talk about what they do.
Chris:Oh, okay, okay.
Tara:And that's another hint we even ask kids. We say what do you want to be when you grow up, rather than what do you want to do when you grow up? You see this subtle difference.
Chris:Yes.
Tara:And so if all of our being who we are is the things that we do, then that's conditional worth and that's that's a that's a stressful place to be. So, coming back to things that I would consider about me, I'd say these were then more innate qualities, things that are the things that I, um find joyful. So joyful is, as one I think I'm I quite easy to, I find it quite easy to tap into joy, um, I'm adventurous. That would be. That'd be another quality. I'm curious. That's the researcher part in me. I always want to know why. That's cute. Um, I, I, I feel a great love for people, and I know that sounds like it's a weird thing, but I can walk around and just feel the love for humanity.
Tara:So you know, I said I walk in nature and feel the, the tree energy. I can walk in a crowd and feel the, the, the, the human energy, and that's something that I, I love. So that's a quality which I think is quite precious. Um, yes, it is. And the other thing is my enthusiasm. I'm, I'm an enthusiastic, I'm an upbeat kind of person, I'm. You talk about glass?
Chris:everybody's always like can I get a little bit of that. Can I get a little bit of that?
Tara:and and you know, I love, I love thinking about the future and the possibilities for the future. That's my, that's what excites me, that's that's that's I. I find a lot of pleasure in that. So yes those, those things I would say are qualities of the person that I am.
Chris:I love that and I love how you explain that so well. It's the qualities of who you are so nicely put, nicely put and very well explained. Learned something new from myself. Yeah, nice. Where do you see your work in the future? We just talked about the future. You say it brings you excitement and joy. I want to know where do you see your work in the future and what do you hope to build or to reach?
Tara:right. So I've, I've, I've been really blessed, I think, by being able to discover a very significant solution to imposter syndrome and, as I said, people need to hear it. So the next step in my work is spreading that information. So the next step in my work is spreading that information, so having a chat with you and getting this out to people.
Tara:So, as a part of his education, I do talks and I can see that that's where I need to go. Next is to do more of those I have trained. I really should put that up higher up the list, but yeah, so it's getting that information out there, spreading that news, and For that there's also going to be. I have trained a few coaches in my process, the program that I run, and I can see that expanding and doing more and more of that. So, although it's a privilege and a joy to work with people one-to-one and observe their transformation, it really is, it's amazing. But but my future is going to be about getting that out there more, getting at a scale more people yeah, so that's is.
Tara:That is that scale and and impact and, to be honest, that the actual doing of it is less exciting to me.
Chris:Understandable.
Tara:Yeah, the one-to-one work is really the pleasurable part of this, so I have to just do this work holding in to more. More and more people are going to be having this transformation. That's going to be the, the, the motivation going forward to get this. You know more people doing this and that's it.
Chris:And once you share and you put the seed, to me it's everything. Even after people listen to this, you've already planted a seed. You question I, like I did do I have imposter syndrome? Like after you were saying certain things, I had to question myself, like Chris, do you fall into these things or is this something that you can say for your life about it? And no, I don't, but it was something that I questioned about even just hearing you say so.
Chris:Everybody who listens to this is going to question, and some people are going to get that yes answer back and then they will start the digging of finding out like, okay, or they would have already been touched by so many things you've mentioned already in this podcast to know that this is me, or like you're talking directly to me to find it.
Chris:So I think that this is great, that it will start this ripple effect and then people can go and start their work on themselves. You know, definitely the man to man is great but, like you say, it's hard to reach everybody. But planting that seed puts it in that they can start to dig the work. They have the tools that you left, your books and things that they can go and, you know, find out more about what has been said. So I think that is a great start for you to just get the word out about what's happening and the work will start to slowly, you know, like that oyster and pearl slowly start to make its way into everyone's ears and minds where they can have the time to think with themselves about hmm, do I fall into this? Is this me?
Tara:or not.
Chris:That question themselves.
Tara:Yes, and then also deliver that hope rather than hopelessness.
Chris:Yes, we don't want to forget about the hope.
Tara:Yes, there is something we can do. I see some media articles saying, oh, imposter syndrome, we all have it, there's nothing we can do. You know that I see some um media articles saying, oh, imposter syndrome, we all have it, there's nothing you can do. Right, and it's like no. Imposter syndrome is like having having a nail in your shoe, right, you know, you don't just try and tough it out, you don't say, well, everyone's got a nail in their shoe and there's cutting up their foot and hurting. You do something about it.
Tara:So that's, something that you know.
Chris:When you know that there's something that can be done, it changes the way you even think about what imposter syndrome is. Yes, a little light at the end of that tunnel, definitely. I love it. I love it. I like to ask this final question Is your glass half empty or half full?
Tara:Oh, absolutely half full. And you know what, you know what. It's actually 100% full. The bottom half is full of water and the top half is full of air.
Chris:I love that I tell you people come up with the most amazing answers for this question. It is always a special treat. I love it. It's full. We said half with water and half with air. Yes, nice, excellent combination, excellent combination. Do you have any final thoughts for our listeners? You gave us so much good information, but something that you want to leave us with.
Tara:Yeah, so three things about imposter syndrome. If I was going to take three keys out of this is that imposter syndrome is not you right, it's not your personality, it's not who you are, it's not you. You're not alone. It affects so many people and there is something you can do about it.
Chris:I love it. I love it. Yes, can you tell everyone how they can reach you if they'd like to find out more about you and your books and information?
Tara:Yeah, so my books you can find on with all good booksellers. My website is outsmartimpostorsyndromecom All one word. And if you'll find me on social media, I'm on LinkedIn, so that's Tara-Halliday-PhD. It's quite an unusual name, so you put Tara Halliday and you'll find me.
Chris:Yes, and that's spelled H-A-L-L-I-D-A-Y, not Holla. No, holla.
Tara:I'm not Doc Holliday. Yes, I'm not Doc Holliday now.
Chris:Yes, yes, and all of this information will be listed in the findings for the podcast, so they will. They'll have all of that there, as well as how to get to the links to get to your books and things as well, for that.
Tara:You know what, Chris? Let's also put the link for the quiz in there so people can take it. Yes, that is so great I didn't even know that there was a quiz. But yes, there's a free quiz. That's here. There's a quiz that you can take to see if you've got imposter syndrome, the very first stop in diagnosing it.
Chris:Excellent. We will definitely that will be in as well for that and your online course, if people are available to and that is something that people can do worldwide.
Tara:Yes, absolutely. So. I've got a short online course to help people manage the symptoms, and that's a do-it-yourself course, so it's a series of videos and exercises that put a plan together for you, a personalized plan that you can then do to help manage imposter syndrome.
Chris:I love it, I love it, I love it. Thank you so much, tara, for being here, for being a guest here on Glass Half Full. We are so happy that you could stop by and have a chat with us today.
Tara:This was a great chat. Thank you very much.
Chris:Yes, I really enjoyed it today.
Tara:This was a great chat. Thank you very much.
Chris:yes, no, it was a great chat and you are full of information and just that's what we're going to get you out for, that ted talk. We're just gonna I'm speaking it into existence that you'll be on some platforms, yes, so that way we can get this information out. Like you say, and because you want to share it, it it's going to happen, it's going to happen, it's going to happen for you. So, thank you so much. Have a wonderful day and we will be in touch real soon.
Tara:Yeah, marvelous. Thanks a lot, Chris.
Chris:Thank you All, righty, bye-bye. Hello, listeners of Glass Half Full, thank you for tuning in to another inspiring episode of our podcast. I'm your host, chris Levins, and I want to express my gratitude to each and every one of you for being a part of our supportive community. Remember, glass Half Full is not just a podcast. It's a safe platform for everyone to share their life experiences. Your stories and voice matter and we appreciate you for being here with us. If you enjoyed today's episode and want to stay updated with our future content, please subscribe, follow and rate our podcast on Apple Music, spotify and YouTube. Your support means the world to us and it helps us reach even more listeners who can benefit from these valuable life experiences. As we wrap up this episode, always keep in mind you are blessed, no matter the challenges you face. There's a reservoir of strength within you. Until next time, stay positive and remember the glass is always half full, see ya.